Brenbrenda

Homesick

2011-03-29T00:16:00.002+08:00

It has been a while since I last felt this way. Feeling homesick. Missing the comfort of connecting with old friends.

Busy life has numbed my heart, hasn't it?

I still have no solution to this since 4 years ago when I arrived here. Only pray..

The Unchanging Love

2010-04-09T11:32:00.002+08:00

God encouraged my heart today with this verse

Heb 13:8 (The Message)
For Jesus does not change - yesterday, today, tomorrow, he's always totally himself.

It is really heartening to find out this fact that He does not change. When I feel helpless and tattered, He remains as He is. When I feel happy and on cloud on, He remains as He is.
It is really assuring to know that He does not change when I am inconsistent and I, many at times, offer lip services more than surrendering of heart.

When all else fades, my soul will dance with you, where the love lasts forever..

Fly away

2010-03-11T23:30:00.001+08:00

A familar tune played in iTunes as I was revising for my quiz tomorrow. Corrinne May's fly away. I am always reminded of my beloved mummy when I hear this song.

Why does she have to let me go when we can choose to have me stay by her side? It definitely pains her, especially when she knows I'm lonely or when I'm not doing well here. Sometimes it's much worse when I tell her I miss home. God, will I ever go back to be with my family for good? This question always stick around my head and it has yet to go away.

Corrinne May - Fly Away

"When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Despite it all, still I'm called to fulfill the great commission.

Bridge to God's heart

2010-03-08T09:53:00.002+08:00

God reminded me of my relationship with him when I was still young in faith. God reminded me that I asked of Him to build a bridge that connects my heart to His. That image means so much to me because it was one of the prayers that I made to God when I was very young back then. I asked Him to allow my heart of worship to reach out to His heart and to touch His heart. Nothing matters much more than my relationship with Him, even in the midst of storms and turbulence.

不是个巧合

2010-01-31T20:04:00.003+08:00

昨天教会的周六崇拜非常的特别，是个以宣教为主题的崇拜。在那里，Timothy 和 Guan Rui 弟兄的见证感动了我。神的确爱世人，世界各地的世人，只要我们将心展开于他。

我一向都少许有参阅华语圣经，原因其实是为了要装备我自己，等到机会成熟时，向家人分享福音。他们一向都以华语沟通，参阅华语圣经可以帮助提高我的表达能力，好让我能完全的向他们分享耶稣的爱。昨天我便在想，我不排斥到中国，香港或台湾短宣。中国的人口很多，如果他们也可以听到福音，影响力一定很大。毕竟中国的势力也不断的加强，对这世界也有一定的影响力。

今天发生了一件很奇妙的事。我不寻常的在等巴士的时候不挂上耳机，不读书。当我上到巴士的时候，我微微的听到坐我后面的两个中国人在聊天。其实在新加坡，听到中国人在巴士上聊天是比看到太阳从东边升起更平常的事，可是听到中国人在巴士上传福音可不了。我在巴士上一路仔细的聆听那以非常柔和的声量与坐在他旁边的同乡传福音。他从周日敬拜开始解释，直到神如何创造世界，直到耶稣为世人死在十架上。我听的出那在讲解耶稣的爱的人是多么的有耐心，连我都被打动了。我坐在他们前面当然不好打扰，我便在巴士上为他们祷告。我真的被那弟兄的真诚与信打动了。

我那时想起了这段经节：

彼得前書 3:15
只要心里尊主基督为圣。有人问你们心中盼望的缘由,就要常作准备，以温柔、敬畏的心回答各人...

1Peter 3:15
But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..

我相信这一定不只是个巧合，神用这弟兄提醒了他对我的爱，也提醒了我要把他的爱宣开来，就从我所在的地方开始。

My "Holy Communion" with Jesus

2010-01-15T09:55:00.003+08:00

Today God has brought His promises in Jer 33:3 coming to pass.

Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

I have been longing to be in fellowship with God, because it has been few days I did not spend time seeking Him at a quiet place. Today I just force myself out of bed early in the morning, carrying the hunger for the "Holy Communion" with Him.

James 4:8
Come near to God and He will come near to you.

As I prayed, I read His word from the book of John, from John 14 onwards. From the words that were spoken by Jesus in the passages, I felt that there were a lot of times when Jesus revealed His heart to His disciples. It becomes more evident that Jesus revealed His love and plan for His disciples when it comes to John 15 and 16 when He spoke of him being the vine and we, the branches, the Holy Spirit whom the Father gives us and assurance He gave when he was about to leave His followers. The part which touched my heart the most is in John 17, which wrote about Jesus' prayer for himself, His disciples and all believers. I felt that Jesus was praying that personal prayer for me, who is clinging on to Him today.

John 17: 6-19
Jesus prays for His disciples
⁶"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. ⁷Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. ⁸For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. ⁹I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. ¹⁰All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. ¹¹I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. ¹²While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. ¹³"I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. ¹⁴I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. ¹⁵My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. ¹⁶They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. ¹⁷Sanctify^b]">[b] them by the truth; your word is truth. ¹⁸As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. ¹⁹For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

God's love language for me is His word. I am so overwhelmed when He reveals a thought of His to me. I feel so loved by God when He speaks to me.

Psalm 139: 17
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

If your heart has also turned into a piece of dry land, all you need to do is to spend some time with Him and offer your heart to Him for a work of restoration.

This is my testimony:

Psalm 40
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth
a hymn of praise to our God.

Spare some time for this "Holy Communion" with Jesus today! :)

It actually hurts..

2009-11-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

It actually hurts when I allow myself to be vulnerable before people and share my heart, but the return is far from comfort or understanding.

It actually hurts when I learn to love, and the return is far from appreciation.

It actually hurts when I just smile like as if it is nothing big deal to me...

God, keep me strong..

爱

2009-11-05T17:42:00.003+08:00

我若能说万人的方言，并天使的话语，却没有爱，我就成了鸣的锣，响的钹一般。
我若有先知讲道之能，也明白各样的奥秘，各样的知识，而且有全备的信，叫我能够移山，却没有爱，我救算不得什么。
我若能将所有的周济穷人，又舍己身叫人焚烧，却没有爱，我就算不得什么。

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；
爱是不嫉妒；
爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，
不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，
不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。

我必信与实行神的真理。阿们

祷告

2009-11-02T10:31:00.002+08:00

我们在天上的父：
愿人都尊你的名为圣。
愿你的国降临；
愿你的旨意行在地上，
如同行在天上。
我们日用的饮食，今日赐给我们。
免我们的债，如同我们免了人的债。
不叫我们遇见试探；
救我们脱离凶恶。
因为国度，权柄，荣耀，全是你的，
直到永远。阿们！

301009

2009-10-30T12:13:00.002+08:00

Psalm61: 1-4
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

***

Something happened in the family. Pray that God will be with me and my family.

Love you, Lord.

***
Happy birthday, Koksiong! :)

281009

2009-10-28T09:26:00.002+08:00

I bumped into an old friend today. We chatted about our lives over the bus ride from Pioneer MRT station to school.
She is in similar situation as I do, heading to the divergence in life. She is trying to give her best shot in this final year in university to at least secure a second lower class. I reckoned that in the process of achieving, she gave up a lot of things, even God.
My heart went out for her when I heard about her life, how she is doing now. I really want to add a little more love to her life, even just a simple act of buying her coffee.
Before we departed, I just make myself available to be her study partner when she needs one. She thanked me, and I wonder when can we meet and chat again.

***

I made a silly mistake today. I knew it was not right, but I failed to do the right thing. I repented in sorrow and fear for the Lord.

This is what I read:

Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgression.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgression, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teacher transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifice of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then there will be righteous sacrifice,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

***

I realized that I am more influential, at whatever place God has placed me in - family, school, ministry. I really need to grow in my character and gain wisdom through His word as I build upon my credibility.

To God be all the glory. Amen.

I am not saved by works, but by grace

2009-10-03T11:55:00.003+08:00

Being the choleric me, it often takes God himself to remind me to slow down...

I am blessed by the leaders' retreat that I had over the last weekend. God spoke to me through the personal time I had with Him and through the leaders, and the spoken words are consistent.

It has not been an easy time for me. The more I see the "depressing" situation, as I define, the more I feel I need to do something about it. More often than not, at such times when my choleric mode is activated, I shut God out because I thought He just takes too long to respond. Then I realized, that I failed to exercise my faith.

Exo 33:12-19

Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me,'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you have pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."

Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."

And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion...

When I start to wonder what God says, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

A leader spoke to me about Heb 4:8-12 from the vision she had from God for me.

Heb 4:8-12

For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

As the leaders prayed for me, I saw a vision of a heart, cut into half, laid bare under the light of the bright sun.

Heb 4:13

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

I believe it was divine. As it is written in Psalms 51, render my heart and not my garment.

I am not saved by works, but by grace.

Psalm 51:16-17 (The message)

Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Lord, thanks for the reminder.

Oddly outstanding me?

2009-09-17T10:21:00.004+08:00

Just to share with u what I've learned from a published article. It expresses my thought on students' elective selection in our university, in a scholarly manner. Here goes..

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has shown that the way children view a task affects their persistence and performance over time. Some children think of human ability or intelligence as fixed and, consequently, think of school tasks as performance opportunities - moments of truth that prove whether or not they're smart. For these children, performing poorly on an assignment or a test would demonstrate that they lacked intelligence rather than indicating that they had more to learn. Believing that the point of execution is to demonstrate competence, they go out of their way to pick easier tasks. Of course, this means they lose out when it comes to learning.

I try to keep myself out of flowing with the river current, making me the odd one out, or the outstanding one? :)

Where does my time go?

2009-07-23T17:18:00.002+08:00

It has been a mad week which I scheduled to meet many many people. Physically exhausted but inwardly refreshed.

I have been evaluating the efficiency of how I run things, and think about alternatives I could adapt for improvement. Financially, physical well being, ministry, studies, relationship with people, etc.. It has been on my mind what God's will is in these areas of my life.

***

I planned to work on my PA report and FYP today, therefore I arranged to meet only one person in town area over lunch. Because I really wanted to spend more time with that friend, I agreed to went shopping with her at the east area. We did not walk for very long and she bought the things that she needed. Great. And it was already 3pm.

Then I travelled across the city to NTU so that I could get some peace and start working on my reports. It was 4pm. When I have finally settled down at one place and nearly felt satisfied, I realized I did not bring my laptop charger out with me! GREEEAATTTT! I was so frustrated that I nearly knock my head on the wall behind me..

I have no other choice but to head home to get my charger and come back to school again. Pleased. It is now 5.30pm, and I have not even start typing a word! Now when I recall what I have done for more than half a day, I spent most of my time traveling and running here and there.

I want my day back.

Fingers on white keypad

2009-07-16T14:10:00.007+08:00

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

So excited, I'm counting days to go back home :)

I have just moved out of my hostel last night to my friend's place. It was so tiring and it was not fun at all. I really hoped my house could be moved to Singapore and I could just stay at one place for the rest of my life. I miss my comfortable bed, purple bedroom, pretty house..

My colleague today managed to motivate me to do something that I have been wanting to do all along - clean my laptop.

The keypad had been topped with dusk and dirt and I knew it was not pleasant to see at all, but I had not had the motivation to really search for whatever that my friends had been recommending me to use to clean the laptop surface. When Ann Chee actually complained about my laptop being dirty, plus the way she said it which made it extra awful, I went around the shops after my lunch with friends to look for this MAGIC SPONGE.

It is really amazing. No joke. It cleaned my Macbook keypad surface as white as a new one!

I am so happy and contented to be typing on a clean keypad again!

It is a simple thing that makes life great :)

The last week of internship

2009-07-15T16:27:00.006+08:00

I'm back! :)

The revival of this blog is partly due to the boredom I experience at work in this last week of my internship. People are going in and out for meetings and here I am, staring at the computer from 9am-6pm. I feel so paralysed.

I try my best to spend my time meaningfully, despite the fact that the things that I do aren't at all meaningful most of the time. I played Restaurant City, chatted, did online research for my Final Year Project (FYP), drafted my Professional Attachment (PA) report and etc. Ahh.. I can't wait for Friday to come, the end of my 10-week internship!

Side note: I bet I would miss working after the internship ends.

This God whom I serve

2009-05-31T22:29:00.007+08:00

This God whom I serve never fails to touch me with His love.

This God whom I serve never fails to grant me forgiveness when I repent of my disobedience.

This God whom I serve never fails to affirm me of His presence when I feel that I am all alone.

His name is Jesus.

Made me glad

2009-04-20T14:08:00.004+08:00

My heart is filled with thanksgiving towards my God, because once again He delivered me miraculously.
How can I express enough of my gratitude for whatever God has done in my life? I am just a man, a mere mortal man, but God places me in His heart.

When I consider your heavens,
The work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
Psalm 8:3-4

A hearty Amen to what David expressed in Psalms.

He is perfect, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and yet He lowers himself to identify with the meek human mankind.

For we do not have a great high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,

but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin.

Heb4:15

Praise be to You, Jesus.

Made Me Glad - Hillsong

I will bless the Lord forever

I will trust Him at all times

He has delivered me from all fear

He has set my feet upon a rock

I will not be moved

And I'll say of the Lord

You are my Shield,

my Strength My Portion Deliverer

My Shelter, Strong tower

My very present help in time of need

Whom have I in heaven but You

There's none I desire beside You

You have made me glad

And I'll say of the Lord

You are my Shield,

my Strength My Portion Deliverer

My Shelter, Strong tower

My very present help in time of need

Our Hope Endures

2009-03-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

Our Hope Endures - Natalie Grant

Natalie Grant
Our Hope Endures

You would think only
So much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume that this
One has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here

[Chorus:]
Sometimes the sun
Stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky
Rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures
The worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Lend your
Our hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend
Peace within pain
Our joy at a good man's wake
Walk a mile with a woman
Whose body is torn
With illness
But she marches on

[Chorus]

[3x]:
Emanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone
This is our hope
Our hope endures
The worst of conditions
It's more
Than our optimism
Lend your
Lend your
Lend your
Our hope is unchanged

The "Edward Cullen" side of God

2009-02-27T07:47:00.002+08:00

Spending time with God is never wasted. Guess what, today I discover the "Edward Cullen" side of God! ;)

You do not need to be very close to me to know that I'm a Twilight saga fanatic. I love everything about Edward Cullen - the hero, the gentleman, the know-it-all, the lover-forever... How I wish I could be the Bella in the story!

As I read Psalm 139 today, I realised that in fact, I already am Bella in the kingdom of God! What's more, God is more powerful than Edward! :) :) :)

In the novel, Edward cannot read the mind of Bella, and that frustrates him. If Edward really has to know what Bella is thinking, he has to read the thoughts of people around her. That's entirely different with God.

Psalm 139: 1-4

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! :)

Edward is always protective over Bella. Just as how Bella couldn't comprehend how would someone so perfect fall in love with her, such an imperfect fragile human, David expressed his awe towards the immortal God.

Psalm 139: 5-6

You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

No where is beyond the reach of our heavenly Father. Where we are, there His spirit will be, leading and guiding us.

Psalm 139: 7-8

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If you think sleeping with someone watching over you is sweet (yeaps, that's what I think!), David makes me think God is sweet!

Psalm 139:17-18

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

How finally this is my m&m verse for the week.

Psalm 139-23-24

Search me , I God, and know my heart; test me, and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead to me in the way everlasting.

Thank You, Saviour!

Gonna stay strong

2009-02-10T11:40:00.003+08:00

I'm definitely not in the best of mood without my laptop.

I'm thankful for my family who have been supporting me, emotionally and financially.

Gonna stay strong through the trough! :)

Break. Breakaway.

2009-01-24T13:01:00.002+08:00

Nothing makes me feel better than to be at my safe haven - Kuching. My home. To be very honest, I am absolutely reluctant in leaving this place, at least it is so right now. I am positive about me shedding tears when it is time to go, again.

Life has been comfortable. I have been living like it is all about me-doing-too-much-in-Sg-and-I-need-a-break! It is a break, indeed. A breakaway from everything, including seeking God. Today when I finally spend some time alone at home, read Yanyu's write up on "Consumerism and the Church", then it rings the bell, that hey, it has been days since I last sought God in prayer.

My M&M verse:
Gal 5:16
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

I seek to live by the Spirit from this moment till the day I leave Kuching (awWW..)

The Desert Song

2008-12-31T13:33:00.000+08:00

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Spiritual Pride

2008-12-30T22:22:00.005+08:00

I was absolutely surprised at what I learned from the book - Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis today. Of all the traps and deceits that the devil uses upon men, one of which is called the "Spiritual Pride".

"It is an unobtrusive little vice which she (*the believer) shares with nearly everyone who have grown up in an intelligent circle united by a clearly defined belief; and it consists in a quite untroubled assumption that the outsiders (*the non-believers) who do not share this belief are really too stupid and ridiculous."

This is how the devil devices the deceit.

"He (*the believer) must be made to feel (he'd better not put it into words) "how different we Christians are"; and by "we Christians" he must really, but unknowingly, mean "my set"; and by "my set" he must mean not "The people who, in their charity and humility, have accepted me", but "The people with whom I associate by right"."

Lets be aware of what dwells in our mind and ask God's Holy light to shine the deepest motive and thought of ours that do not glorify Him at all.

Better is a day in Your court

2008-10-25T10:08:00.003+08:00

As usual, the piling of school work seems to be never-ending, and yet I persevere to stick close to my Savior.

I felt refreshed when I woke up this morning, it's a wonderful start of a day. God's mercy is new everyday! I did my quiet time with my roomie when we were having breakfast together, then we had a good time sharing with each other our walk with God. She told me about her burden for her friends who do not yet know God and I was amazed by how God placed the urge for evangelism in the heart of this new born baby in Christ. She is indeed a sweet blessing from God :)

Seow Wei sheep, God will guide u every single step that u take with Him faithfully!
Michelle sheep, lets acknowledge God in our hearts even as we're working with our hands and planning with our heads!
Reuben bro, God knows full well what He's doing and He is in full control of it all, indeed!
Wilson CL aka Mr. Matt 6:33, encouraged by your perseverance in The Lord Jesus Christ!
Pey Chyi roomie, grow grow grow closer to God each day!
Wilson Yeo, nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:38-39)!
Qianru shepherd, thank for loving me for who I am, thanks for your faithfulness in leading and guiding me along the way!

God, thank You for all these wonderful people in my life and the list is definitely not exhaustive and I can go on and on and on.

I am a sinner saved by grace.

1 Cor 1:26-31

2008-10-14T01:17:00.004+08:00

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord"

1Cor 1:26-31

P/s: Thanks dear, for the encouragement! :)

对懦弱坦白

2008-10-07T00:18:00.003+08:00

看看我，忙得连打理这部落格的时间都没有。我的手提电脑才刚安装了中文之星，现在的我兴致勃勃地想复习我的中文！
在这里的生活真的忙得不可开交，需吸收和学习的有时还真多得让我透不过气，忙里偷闲的时间少之又少。
上星期放假回家的感觉真幸福，还真怀念那种被家人保护和疼惜的感觉。
我不是一个大人物，不是无时无刻都可以很坚强，更错过不了犯错的经验；可是我时时刻刻提醒自己，神与我同在。
我曾相信尝试过后的失败是光荣的，因为至少我不当逃避的鸵鸟。
在这个大城市，每个人都充满着竞争力，仿佛有股力量让他们不歇不息的往前冲，那或许是金钱的魔力。受过无数次失败的我渐渐失去了成功的信心，渐渐的淡忘了那曾经是佼佼者的我。往往有的时候，我懦弱的选择不亢声，试图忽视，甚至逃避。我曾经拥有那对达到设定目标的自信心被无数的失败慢慢的腐蚀了。
我不懂这还能撑多久，或许多两年，或许。。。

我需要突破。

I praise God I am bearing that name

2008-09-14T14:42:00.002+08:00

What can be worse than being seen as a fool?
Yes. I am a fool.
Spending my time, mind, heart and all serving God and I really feel like a fool, more often than not.
And Paul thinks so, too.

1Cor 4:1013
(To the church in Corinth he said) We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless.
We work hard with our hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we persecuted, we endure it; when we slandered, we answered kindly. Up to this moment we have become scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.

Assurance for the fools bearing Christ's name.
1Pet 4:12-16
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trail you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you ma be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer of thief or any other kind of criminal, or even meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

v19 - So then. those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Isaiah 40:28-31

2008-08-30T10:03:00.005+08:00

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-30

Still - Hillsong

Do I belong here? After all these while...

2008-08-05T22:30:00.002+08:00

What is causing this feeling that has been haunting me? I feel that no one understands me.

In fact, it has occurred numerous times after I came over to Singapore, I feel.. out of place.

It is definitely not that the family in Christ here isn't loving enough, instead, they take me as someone dear to them. But this feeling just keep coming back to me and make me step back, and think, do I really belong here?

Cruel but concise.

I am confused. Could it be that I am deceiving myself and the world when I am acting like a clown, being someone down-to-earth, sociable and bubbly? Could it be that the real personality in me is the anti-social, loner or even an extreme phlegmatic?

I need someone who know me well enough and honest enough to tell me that this is normal.. simply because I am away from home.

The message GOD has put in my heart

2008-07-25T10:27:00.005+08:00

Last night, after attending friends' convocation, 3 graduates and I went for supper. They did reflection upon what had they done during their years in the university.

One of them shared that she wished she could have done more for God and His people. She felt it's pity that she didn't run the race consistently and with discipline and this had, in turn, short-changed the people under her care at that time.

Another expressed that, in her years of growth as a university student, the pride in her had been a stumbling block for her to go even further for God and His kingdom.

I thought...

One that day, I want to graduate with a big satisfied exhale, telling God, "Thank You for seeing me through these years! I've finished this stage of my life and I'm ready to move on!"

As I was reflecting through my first year in university, there had been times when I was stubborn and short-sighted, held on to what I thought was my life-time security, forgetting the fact that God knew and had what's best for me. I regretted after I was reminded of who God really was. It is as illustrated by C. S. Lewis.

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea."

God, forgive me for I have been ignorant.

God then put this vision in my heart.

On the beach, there's this child who is building the sand castle. Not a while after he has finished building it, the wave comes and blows away the sand castle. Upset. He builds up another one after much effort. Not long after, the wave comes and sweeps away the whole sand castle again. Frustrated. The child keeps building the sand castle over and over again after they fall apart, swept by the wave that keeps coming back. Finally, the child is fatigued and he gives up.

Indeed, we have all been like the child before, building up the sand castle of our career paths, impression on others, facade that covers our true weak self. God keeps sending wave to sweep them all away over and over again, reminding us that all these have no eternal significance. But like the child, we are dissatisfied, feeling insecure and frustrated, keep ignoring God and shut him out in building our own dear sand castles with effort that is labored in vain. God keeps reminding me that He has something better for me, a holiday on the sea when I'm playing with muds, something that has eternal significance and last forever.

I am refreshed by what He has spoken to me.

Hope it speaks to you, too :)

Seeing GOD as my Father..

2008-07-20T12:57:00.003+08:00

You know, there's this side of me which my parents can never stand when I manifest - W.H.I.N.E. =P

I whine when I want something from them.

I whine when things don't go my way.

I whine, most importantly, to get their attention!

I remember mummy saying, "Can't you stop whining?? Will you only stop when things are done for you?!"

HAHAHA. EXACTLY! I will stop when things are done for me! =P

I'm not sure about you, but I really do not mind trying this out on my Father in Heaven! Sounds childish, but well, God has called me His child and there's no point of turning back!

What a great discovery I have today as I read the book by Cindy Jacobs "The Supernatural Life", in fact, whining to God is biblical! LOL!

Let me direct you to the book of Luke,

Luke 18:1-8

1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary' ". 4 "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' " 6 And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

There you go, even God desires us to whine to him! =D

I've always been desiring to hear from God through words of wisdom, knowledge and prophecy. I have always been desiring to develop my spiritual gifts, the gifts of the Holy Spirit, that's the reason why I read Cindy Jacobs' book, too.

Acts 2:17-21

'In the last days, God says,

I will pour out my Spirit on all people.

Your sons and and daughters will prophesy,

your old men will dream dreams.

Even on my servants, both men and women,

I will pour out my Spirit in those days,

and they will prophesy.

I will show wonders in the heaven above

and signs on the earth below,

blood and fire and billows of smoke.

The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood

before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.

And everyone who calls

on the name of the Lord will be saved.'

It is biblical to ask for this gift and I will continue to pray and not give up!

Encourage you, too! Be persevering and fervent in prayer, whine until God can't take it, and He will then bless you from Heaven above! ;D

God loves you, friend

2008-07-01T23:35:00.004+08:00

I do not know if I have ever broken anyone's heart this way, but I consciously realize that I'm getting more familiar with this hurtful feeling.

I took the same way back to the place.. hoping to meet an old friend. While I was driving, the route, which I used to take nearly every single day, summoned images of the times which I used to spend with the friend.

I used to ring him every Sunday morning to make sure he's up from his bed.

He used to pick me up early on Sunday mornings for church service.

I was at the top of his wanna-reach-out-to list.

I remember him expressing his deepest hurt in front of me with tears.

He is the one I never fail to mention when I share my life testimony.

I really wished I could be with him when he lost the man he loved the most on earth.

I know the tragedy was the turning point of his life.

In helplessness, I cried and grieved over what happened after.

I believe so as God who loves him the most.

Dear friend,

do not turn away from Him,

He who loves you so so much.

What the world offers is temporal,

the love He has for you never changes.

I'm really happy to see you tonight. I have so many things to say but I swallowed it all nonetheless. I want to know your heart, I want to know what I can do for you..

I want you to know that I love you, friend..

and God loves you so so much more!

2008-06-27T11:22:00.002+08:00

Exactly 7 days more to leave Kuching.

How I wish to stay longer under parents care and pamper.

I love making them laugh. Seeing them happy is my greatest joy.

I thank God for my family.

I start to tear when I think of the day I have to leave Kuching.

I know I have a life to live there, I know there is still a long way to go.

Deep down in my heart, I know all this will fade away..

I want my parents to know God, because salvation comes from no one else but Jesus.

One more week, God. One more week..

My testimony

2008-06-21T00:13:00.003+08:00

Many might not have known, my faith was put under test by God for the past few days. God was determined in knowing how much I really know Him.

"God knows what's best for you"

Sounds familiar? We have all said it at least once to console others.

How much are we convinced?

"God has a wonderful plan for me"

Jer 29:11. A verse we can all quote without much hesitation.

Who is maneuvering your life? Search it deep down within your heart.

"Give thanks in all circumstances"

How to give thanks when heart is overwhelmed with bitterness, mind is occupied with what-should-I-do, eyes are filled with tears?

It was the time of the year, when business students in NTU will be informed of the specialization they are going to take in the second year. Some were not worried at all, they knew exactly what they wanted to do and they were confident in getting in with their excellent results. But, I was not one of those.

I was almost certain I wanted Actuarial Science. I did not know there was a part of me which doubted if it's really what I wanted until I desperately asked myself why I wanted to be offered this specialization so badly, when I wrote the appeal letter.

It was the 16th, midnight. I anxiously renewed, over and over again, the page which I could find the result of the specialization allocation. Lawrence, my course mate, told me I could find it at the "degree audit" page, but actual result would be released tentatively at 10am. I opened the "degree audit" page at once after reading his message.

I read "Specialization: Human Resource Consulting (HRC)". My heart sank. It was not quite like what I expected. Now, what should I do?

Unbelieving, I forced myself to sleep with a feeling that the actual result would be different. It was not that actual one.

I woke up early in the morning and waited for the clock to strike 10am. Time never passed slower than then. I renewed the page but the result never changed. My heart really sank. Images of me happily telling others "I WANT TO DO ACTUARIAL SCIENCE!" came to my mind. Now this is what I get. That's it. That's it..

I felt lost. I did not know what to do. I told God, "God, You know this is not what I want, You know this is too much for me to bear. No God, this is not what I want"

I felt worse than L-O-S-T could express. I did not know what God had for me, I did not know what He had planned for me, or rather, I did not want to know but to LET HIM KNOW I want what I want!

After much effort, I found the mail which explained the appeal process. The mail which rekindled hope. With much prayer and help from seniors and friends, I wrote in an appeal letter and prayed and prayed before clicking on "SEND".

In the late evening, I received the reply. A mail which did not state explicitly a YES or NO, I read the first line and jumped to the last, hoping to see a YES.

"Arghh, why write so much? Just tell me YES or NO!"

To my disappointment, the meaning behind the entire mail was "YOU ARE HOPELESS".

God knew He had broke my heart to pieces and the pieces were trampled countless times on the ground.

Great. That's REALLY it! That's reallyyyyy it!

No one knew the excruciating pain of the heart whenever I thought about it, the rejection, my failure.

I was a straight As student in high school, I was a scholar in college.

The same me, who was rejected for not doing well enough to get in to Actuarial Science.

R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D.

I asked God how could I give thanks. I asked God what He had for me. I asked God what did Jer 29:11 mean, was He joking? I asked God what should I do with 1The 5:16-18 - Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.. Listen, God, I am not insane.

When all the bitterness flooded my heart, I remembered of one scene I saw in the movie, Narnia. The scene when the kids' last resort was to have the little girl to look for Azlan for rescue. They all knew Azlan was dead, but the little girl somehow believed that Azlan would never leave them alone in danger. With the faith was not sensible at all, she went out to look for Azlan.

Miraculously, Azlan was found alive and rescue was brought to the people at the sound of His roar.

With a childlike faith, I, too, could see God. God will send His rescue at the very last minute, at His timing.

I referred back to the verses.

Jer 29:11 - God has a plan for you, a plan to prosper you and not to harm you.

God, I claim it.

1The 5:16-18 - Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances..

God, I give thanks for I know You are still in control.

Heb 10:23 - Lets hold unswervingly to the hope that we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

YES AND AMEN!

God reminded me so so vividly that HE IS STILL IN CONTROL.

I let go of my stubbornness, I surrendered, I wanted to seek and see God.

It was really painful and heart-breaking, but God said HE IS IN CONTROL.

I remembered how Jesus prayed to God when He was so troubled before going to the cross.

Matt 26:39 - If it is possible, may this cup be taken from me..

YET NOT AS I WILL, BUT AS YOU WILL.

I surrendered and committed my future to God. I've decided to call the principal manager to plead for her reconsideration in taking me in, but I let go of the attitude of this-is-what-I-want, I told God, "Not as I will, but as You will.."

The principal manager was firm with her decision and I could understand that. She then offered me an option of taking HRC for the first sem while taking Actuarial Science elective(s) and if I'm able to do well for the elective(s) and jack up my GPA, she would arrange an interview for me with Prof Bala, Actuarial Science major head.

Boy, I think this is far better than getting in to Actuarial Science. One, I am really not sure if AcS is really what I want to do for life. Two, I really do not mind, and would like to, try out HRC!

If I could do well for the AcS elective and find that it's really what I love and by God's grace, I want to go to AcS in the second sem. If I try AcS elective and find that it's really not what I want, I could carry on with HRC.

I do not know what future brings, I just want to do God's will.

Deep down in my heart, I thanked God. Countless times.

He knows what I want for myself better than I do.

I thought....

God seems to have never ending blessing to pour out to me.

God knows me better than I do.

God is good.

I am unworthy of His love and grace.

I PRAISE GOD! :)

Reflection

2008-06-08T20:38:00.005+08:00

Another reflection I did.

Greg, I couldn't agree with you more when you commented that I talked more than I listened, I wanted to speak so much more than I was willing to listen. I was grateful for your honesty in pointing out this weakness of mine. I hope I've changed and grown as I grow in God.

It has been more than 2 weeks I'm back here in Kuching. The continual meeting with God's people for cg, prayer meeting, sunday service and fellowship still go on. And for the days I was with the people, it leads me to reflection of the attitude of the people around me. The attitude of demanding attention by keep blurting words and listen nothing from the other party, be it during sessions when others are seeking for advice, sharing burden/problem or mere catching up.

I was, all of the sudden, feeling shameful for how rude I was. How I heard, but not listened to others. How I came to conclusion of what others shared or said so quickly without asking for clarification and further explanation. I was guilty of not being a friend who truly listens.

I truly thank God for qianru, who has taught me the politeness of listening, really listen and empathize. It is really one thing that I need to learn, as I grow and mature. Thank God for qimin whom God has used to teach me on this. I thank God for this patient brother. Ji Ting, too, is angel sent by God in my cg to help me to grow and learn to be a gentle listener.

It is so hurtful when your friend does not actually listen to what you intend to say. Indeed. I've learned and grow from there. God, help them too.

Thank You, Jesus, for being patient with me :)

When the waistline hikes...

2008-06-04T20:24:00.005+08:00

No other reason other than the inferiority and insecurity due to the extra weight that is gained over the months.

Mummy's right - Nice figure does not speak everything about a person, but it does do a part in building one's confidence.

Had been keeping silent over the dinner. Reflected upon the overwhelming inferiority that undeniably stripped away the confidence I have in myself at times.

What does God say about this?

God knows I ain't someone who is diligent in doing exercise. Hah, funny. And the extra fat is what I get in return!

I think I can grow my faith through this struggle, you know? Have anyone on earth trusted God in losing weight? F-A-I-T-H!?

Yeaps. I gonna trust God in losing weight!

God, it's either You work in decreasing the weighing machine reading the next time I stand on it OR You work in changing my perspective on this struggle I've been facing.

Look forward to Your hands at work! ;P

Focus on your giant, you fall. Focus on God, your giant tumble!

2008-05-31T00:26:00.005+08:00

Glad I'm back home! Constantly thank God for the time that I can spend with my family, dearest family :)

Just watched "Facing the giants". Heard about this movie from WanLin and Johnson and the rest who watched it during cg, it was a fantastic movie they said.

Indeed, it is more than inspiring. It draws me back to my faith in putting in my trust whole-heartedly on what is eternal and unchanging.

"We praise God when we win, we praise God when we lose", the football coach Grant Taylor helps the team to put their focus back on God.

"I think that football is just one of the tools we use to honor God" says the coach.

"And you think God does care about football?" asks one of the football team players.

"I think he cares about your faith. He cares about where your heart is. If you live your faith on football then yes He cares about football because He cares about you" replies the coach.

I never see Jesus as my God who would care about HK series and Korean drama. But hey, if I live my faith on HK series and Korean drama, then yes, God cares about all these! What a fact about God that I never see from this point of view before!

I'm reading a book written by Philip Yancey - The Jesus I never knew. It really opens my eyes and mind in seeing Jesus the way I had never tried before. I am in awe, when I read the book and after I watched the movie, of how God can use the people in testifying of His awesomeness in these ways. I feel all the more unworthy of God's grace for not doing God justice in failing to praise Him for this side of His, His awesomeness.

I am encouraged in seeing the bros and sis back here who have grown. I am overjoyed in spending time with them praising and learning from each other about God. This holiday will not be wasted, I will spend it to honor God!

I am still finding time to meet up with Wilson for catch up. God, You hear my many cries!

I am looking forward in blessing the bros and sis in college group more. God, empower me!

I want to bring my sis to know God in a deeper level. God, touch her heart!

I want to help mummy to know more about God. God, grant me the wisdom and courage!

I want to overcome laziness and discipline myself in seeking God everyday. God, I want to!

I want to learn more about prophecy and discover my spiritual gifts. God, speak to me!

I want to be...

... ambitious in God.

... dependent on God.

... real serious with God.

Because I want to be used by God!

"I heard about a story of 2 farmers who desperately need the rain and both have been praying for God to bring the rain but only one who has prepared his field to receive it. Which one do u think trusts God in sending the rain?

Which one are you?

God will send the rain when He's ready. You have got to prepare your field to receive it."

-Facing the giants-

Random

2008-05-12T19:50:00.002+08:00

Mere boredom.

I'm suppose to be packing as I'll be moving out of the room on thurs. But... I do not feel like to...

Just bought a new mp3 player - 4gb Champagne-colored Zen stone plus with build-in speakers. Sweet. It's small, it's cute, it's cool and I'm lovin' it! :)

Enjoy this time - being alone, listening to songs, chatting and blogging.

How I wish I could spend this time w family. Just being at their side, even though it would bore me to death. But I just wanna be with them. GOING BACK NEXT TUES! Wooohooooo *RANDOM*

ahhhh Entertain me, would anyone?

My days without my mac

2008-05-06T22:07:00.003+08:00

I'm bored.

Not having anything to do and just sitting in hostel comp lab viewing photos of friends' in facebook, keeping myself updated with how old friends have been doing. It's one of the things I do to kill time OR when I miss my friends.

Speaking about part time job, THANK GOD, I found one! It does not pay VERY well but I'm grateful God's provision because it saves me from boredom and I'M PAID! :)

My macbook hard disk crashed the day before yesterday. According to the technician, one of the probable causes might be due to my carelessness in carrying the laptop around before shutting it off. I knew it. My fault. Thank God it crashed before the warranty is expired, otherwise the replacement of new hard disk would cost me $505! The down side of the thing is that all the data in my laptop WILL BE GONE. I asked about the possibility in retrieving the data, LISTEN UP - "It costs 4 figures :) " according to the technician
*FAINT*

Just went to China Town for another round of KTV session. I just loveeee singing! :)

I'm taking health supplement for this one month and for the first 2 days of intestine cleansing, I was not suppose to take in any solid food except for the omega-3, bee pollen, aloe vera drink and the nutrition powder. Applaud me for I had sustained through the temptation. I hope I can lose weight! :)

Life here without school and my laptop is likeee.... playing a song without having a speaker. Aha, nice metaphore :P *SELF-ENTERTAINING*
Boredom is the word I can use to describe. 2 greatest inventions in the world, my own world, are LAPTOP and HANDPHONE. Boy, I REALLYYYY cannot live without both handphone and laptop at once.

I cant wait for the uni camp at St John's island. I cant wait to go back home. I cant wait to get back my macbook.

Macbook... I MISS YOUUUUU! :(

God, I can't sleep..

2008-05-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

I was so tired just now that I slept at 9.30am and now I am, at 1am, wake up and can't get back to sleep because it's really too hot.

It's at times like this that I wish I could get a room with air con.

Feel so lonely after I finished my drama at bout 5pm something..

After exam I felt so lost that I didn't know what to do when I get back to room.

So I start watching this HK series.

After finishing the 40 episodes of HK series.

I am back to the lost self, not knowing what to do.

Everyone has gone back to home and hometown.

I am left alone in hostel.

I miss home. I miss mummy. At times like this, who understands?

I need conviction of my stay here. Have I forgotten my initial conviction?

God, I need conviction!

2008-04-29T23:45:00.004+08:00

It's holiday.

I feel that I've plumped up after the stretching exam period so I've decided to join the sisters to go jogging tml morning Y^_^ and I shall persevere on in getting rid of all the fats (hopefully..)

I've been watching a HK drama series - Heart of Greed. Interesting story line. Intriguing. You do not know what happen next if u do not continue watching. And it gets me hooked up :)

Toastmasters Club AGM is this coming thursday. Asked myself if I should go for any post. It does not need much evaluation to conclude in my heart that I think... I have not done much ever since I got the post of being a VPPR. Not regret, rather guilt haunts me. I doubt if I could contribute to the club. I am stressed up whenever the president ask me to get something done. I do not know many things and I'm unfamiliar with most.. I know I should humble myself to learn. Perhaps the president, or should I say the rest of the exco, have such a high expectation on me. Or maybe, maybe my over-boost self-confidence brings such consequence. I do not know. I feel like escaping - as in just give in and opt to stay as a normal member. Would that hurt my resume? Probably.

I'm spending mummy's money each day I stay here in Singapore after the exam. Sometimes I feel it's such a silly decision to go back for just 1 month during this 3 months holiday. In fact, I struggled before making up my mind on this. Probably I'm just bored. When NUS students finish their exam and the programming team comes alive again, I shall be busy with planning, meetups and stuff. I believe God sees my intention in staying and that I truly want to experience how serving in tertiary is like, how serving out of inconvenience is like. And I truly believe God will honor this heart.

I need a job. A part time job. An ad hoc job. Project-based and I, honestly, do not mind the pay. It's better off than wasting time sitting in room watching drama. I'm too lazy to edit my resume and send in. My bad. Laziness gets a foothold on me again.

I'm worried about my specialization next academic year. My intention in coming to NTU, Singapore is to take actuarial science. What if.. what if.. I do not get in? Anxiety overwhelms when I come to think of it. Jer29:11 - God has a plan for me! It comforts me. I need to use the sword of the spirit in tackling the negative emotions arise from doubting God, His promises and His ability!

Went to sing K with OB group with the absence of Jake. Love ya lots Elson, Kae Yun and Wan Lin. It was really a great time venting out all our eagerness in wanting to show off our singing talent. Laughter which can never be replayed. It is kept in my memory, my heart. I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving for u all :)

You know what guys, I really love my blog. hmm.. let me paraphrase - I really love blogging. Because I can just blurt out everything that suffocates me here and now. Alrighty, since I'm so free.. I'll blog more recently k! :) But hopefully I will not be so free for long. I wish to get a job! Reallyyyy...

Lastly, wish to continue to stay faithful in seeking God throughout this holiday. Do not want to miss God out totally from this whole holiday plan and semester break. Quiet time which should not be missed out each day, conversation with God which should comes from within every moment. Lord, I WANT YOU TO BE WITH ME IN THIS HOLIDAY!

Oh ya, listened to the song 5 loaves and 2 fishes by Corinne May last night. It was really a ministering song. It talks about God made use of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes in working miracles, He can definitely use our desire, ambition, strength, weakness and fears in working out something great according to His plan. My heart was touched. I thanked God for who He is.

Psalm 8:3-4

When I consider your heavens,

the work of you fingers, the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?

God, who am I that I am worthy of all this? It is all by Your grace :)

A pure heart

2008-04-12T23:18:00.004+08:00

A pure heart, that's what I long for

A heart that follows hard after Thee

A pure heart, that's what I long for

A heart that follows hard after Thee

A heart that hides Your word

So that sin will not come in

A heart that's undivided

But one You rule and reign

A heart that beats compassion

that pleases You my Lord

Sweet aroma of worship

that rises to Your throne

Angels in my life!

2008-04-11T16:56:00.002+08:00

I know exam is near and I'm suppose to seize every minute reading and revising but u know what? Blogging is also part of my life... :)

Just had 2 presentations continuously and today, this very day, marks the end of my VERY FIRST academic year in NTU, Singapore.. (still got exam larhhHH)

I do not know how to describe my feeling which jumbles up. Just talked to wanlin when we were having lunch that my heart is really heavy because it's the end of the semester and during the beginning of academic year after the holiday, all my classmates are going for different specialization, choosing what they want to pursue in lives respectively.

No more laughter in class telling stupid jokes, teasing one another..

No more working together cracking heads to come out with ideas to differentiate our presentations and gain a little more points.

No more bringing junk food to class to stuff in mouth to avoid falling asleep while listening to the somehow doesn't-interest-us-much lecture.

Throughout the entire year in NTU, I've never felt friends are as important to me as now.. when we've come to a divergence and finally.. have to move on to separate paths.. My heart is really heavy..

Dedication to friends who are dear to me,

Yiting, u're such an adorable girl. One with passion in going into marketing specialization, never perform below average in marketing presentations. You're such a sincere and sweet girl who captivates people's hearts from what u have within.

Elson, u're such a funny guy. One who always hope people will perceive him as happy-go-lucky but I know that he's not most of the time. Thanks for your willingness in opening up and cherishing us as your trust-worthy friends. Really really appreciate u a lot.

Kae Yun, u're such a sincere girl. A friend who never hesitate in telling me the truth and correct me when I'm wrong. Your sincerity has really touched my heart a lot and working with u and the rest as a team is really one of the best memories I have in my first year in uni.

Shijing, I might not know u very well but I think u're a very sweet girl.. far from the first impression I had on u as someone who is hard to approach and unfriendly. You're outspoken and sensitive at the same time, makes people feel comfortable being around with u.

Jiahui, a girl who always have her smile on.. really hope i have more time spend with you.

Jasmine and Minghui, best friends who always stick together. Thanks for your patience while working with me in a team. You guys are few of the cutest person I've ever met!

Jake, a gentleman. Always busy. Opinionated and can be fun at times. Appreciate u lots.

Zhong Hua, IT expert. Smart and knowledgeable. Double degree student who never get out of business. Working with u was great and u've improved tremendously in your speaking skill compare to the one u did for the very first time. Really glad for your improvement!

Liu Can, ahhh maths expert! Helped me a lot on my statistic and one whom I will never forget.. teasing me by requesting me to ask more challenging stats questions.. Wana express my gratitude from the bottom of my heart - THANK YOU! You're indeed a great friend!

I still have a lot of friends whom I want to thank.. Ermin, Lawrence, Silvy, Samantha, Yu Fei (my roomie!), Yen Ling (Kae Yun's best friend), Van, Jessica......................................

LOVE YOU GUYS LOTS!

Waitt..

How can I end this without mentioning this friend who have made such a great impact in my life in uni??

WANLIN!!!

U're really God-sent! U encouraged me when I'm discourage. U motivated me when I am demotivated. U brightened up my day when I'm upset. U point me to God when I lose hope. U listened to me when I need someone to grumble to. U were there with me when I am stressed.

How can I ever express my gratitude? How can I ever say how much I really appreciate u! I thanked God endless time for u, dear!

ok, I have to take a leave to dry my tears..

The Riot

2008-04-09T02:23:00.004+08:00

The other side of the "truth"

Sincere hypocrites

2008-04-01T14:57:00.005+08:00

Exam is drawing and time is running short.

I am doing this BY FAITH!

To flung this exam is the last thing I would want to do on earth. It determines my future pathway. uh huh, sounds serious? Absolutely.

Last night, my friend threw us a question by putting us in a situation which a train is coming to a divergence and my brother is on the railway on the right and 5 kids are playing innocently on the left.

Which way will u alter the train's direction to? Sacrificing your brother to save the 5 kids? Or sacrificing the 5 kids for your kin? The brother who carries your gene OR the kids in the number of FIVE!

Regardless of your decision, let me tell you what I think..

Read from OB textbook about this interesting fact that ran through my mind when my friend posted this question. It's exactly what I wanted to convey but at that point of time, I thought it was too abstract for me to put the thought into words...

Here's what I read...

Before discussing workplace values in more details, we need to distinguish between espoused values and enacted values.

Espoused values represent the values that we say we use and, in many cases, think we use. Corporate leaders might say they value environmentalism, creativity, and politeness, whether or not they really do value these things in practice. Values are socially desirable, so people create a positive public image by claiming to believe in values that others expect them to embrace...

Enacted values, on the other hand, represent the values we actually rely on to guide our decisions and actions. These values-in-use are apparent by watching people in action. Just as we judge an individual's personality by behavioral tendencies, so too do we judge enacted values by behavioral tendencies.

We often fall into this trap of "claiming to believe in values that others expect us to embrace" simply BECAUSE they are "socially desirable"

Save my brother or the 5 kids?

*At once, without hesitation*

OF COURSE THE 5 KIDS LAH! F.I.V.E K.I.D.S eh! My brother only ONE mahhh..

Eh, u will sacrifice the 5 kids mehhhhhhh???????????

Wahhh.. so noble!

You sureeeee??

The fact is, none of us is certain..

okok, u might be right if u try to debut on my previous line.

The truth is... I AM NOT SURE!

so I do not see the point of answering this question. Period.

Let God be God

2008-03-27T18:36:00.002+08:00

It is often hard to obey God while holding dearly to the things of the world.

God tests when we express our will in wanting to trust in Him but deep within our hearts, we sometimes fall back on our very definition of security.

Dear God,

This girl has been in deep agony, not knowing how to give it all up to You. Forgive her when she doesn't trust in You with all her heart. Remind her of Your unfailing love by all means and ways. Draw her back to You when she drowns into the deceit of the world. You know best she is not at all better off without You. Her heart longs to trust in you fully. Bring to an end the struggle within her heart.

God, take control.

Heavenly afternoon

2008-03-14T16:53:00.005+08:00

After a dreadful week with 3 presentations and due of an assignment... heavenly.

Spend time with myself watching the rain... heavenly.

Listen to Tanya's songs, singing along... heavenly.

I am the happiest girl in the whole wide world at this moment.

Thank God.

Here in my life

2008-03-06T13:21:00.003+08:00

I have never walked on water

felt the waves beneath my feet but

at Your word Lord, I'll receive Your

faith to walk on oceans deep

And I remember how You found me

In that very same place

All my failing surely would've drowned me

But You made a way

You are my freedom

Jesus, You're the reason

I'm kneeling again at Your throne

Where would I be without You

Here in my life, here in my life?

You have said that all the heavens

Sing for joy at one who finds

The way to freedom, truth of Jesus

Bought from death into His life

And I remember how You saw me

through the eyes of Your grace

and though the cost was Your beloved for me

Still you made a way!

2008-03-03T10:33:00.011+08:00

Water baptism is a declaration of faith, outward expression of inward experience. Just like how a husband is not ashamed of her wife, desires to hold a wedding banquet, invite all his friends and relatives to let them know that he loves his wife so much and that he wishes to spend the rest of his life with her. The exchange of rings, saying I-do in church before pastors, friends, relatives and God are acts of devotion. Similarly, God's followers are commanded to be water baptized. It is not what the pastors want us to do, neither is it the will of the church, but it is the will of God. Jesus himself was baptized in Jordan river by John the baptist. Water baptism is not an option, it is an obligation out of obedience.

It's such a significant day for the 100 people in Hope Singapore who are going to be baptized, dying in a watery grave and be reborn with new life in Jesus. It reminded me of my initiative in requesting my shepherd in Kuching for water baptism ceremony after I realized the importance of it and obeyed out of reverent fear of The Lord. I AM GLAD I OBEYED! I guess so as God :)

Sandy, Qimin, Engseng, Corinna and Huimin, God is well-pleased with your obedience!

The "Johns" of the aftnoon were Claramae, Xingni and Wenjiang.

Before going into the water, they prophesied on the believers with words God had spoken to them. It would be the word of life, verse to be QT-ed with for your entire life.. man.. :)

It was drizzling. Ps Jeff, with his sense of humor, said, "As typical busy Singaporeans, we can just baptize the people along the way..." =.=

>>> Sandy

>>> Corinna, a sweet sister. Her baptism name is Dara, which means compassion and wisdom, areas she wished to grow in.

>>> Hui Min, a sister whom I just knew :)

>>> Last but not least, the brother from our cg, qimin!

In God we're new creation, lets shine forth as His child as salt and light!

Praise God! :) :) :)

BREAK FREE!

2008-02-27T00:10:00.004+08:00

Brenda never has holiday.

She is overloaded with work work work work work work work multiply infinity.

Brenda is tired.

When will I have break?

I'm really not in a mood to prepare for my speech competition on thurs. THURS EH! It's already tues, hello!

Whatever...

Planner filled with appointments which I wish I could escape... AhhhHHHHHH....

Thanks, wanlin for the encouragement after a hundred and one times of me complaining about my stress to u.

BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE BREAK FREE

I WANT TO BREAK FREE!

If only I can leave whatever that bothers me to the next day.. Do whatever I think I want to do right now.. Would people say that it's an irresponsible act?

Countless nights which I cried myself to sleep.. coz I missed my home.. coz I had so much things to do and yet so little time.. coz I felt I am incapable.. coz I needed someone to be here physically to listen to me.. coz I sometimes hid my sadness behind a smile.. coz I repented for my short-sightedness not seeing God in the big picture.. coz I did not trust God enough to bring me through all this.. coz I wish to hug my mummy...

What I want the world to know!

2008-02-19T12:54:00.004+08:00

Recess week is coming soon!!!

So as mid term exam...

I will not be able to meet mummy in KL due to her busy schedule which doesn't allow her to stay for another 2 more days there (mummy manages the shop herself.. she's just TOO responsible). Disappointed.

I love the song - Teardrops on my guitar by Taylor Swift. One of my fav country songs :)

I should stop drinking coffee because it causes me headache after that. I have the habit of getting a (large) cup of coffee before going to the library, simply because I THINK it would keep me awake. Addiction? Nah, more to a habit :P

I'm having too many things to do... Sometimes really stress me out. Woohoo, need to go near to God so that He would lift up my burden! ;)

Friends, do u know there's Someone who loves u unconditionally? Someone who plans your life, knows every single thought u have and every single word u wanna say even before it comes out of your mouth. His name is Jesus.

He's the God worshipped by His children all over the world and amazingly, He said in the bible, He knows me, He knows my name and I am formed in His image. I am in awe of my God's love for me. His name is Jesus.

He longs for u to cry out to Him so that He can give u peace, peace that the world cannot offer and fill your life with overflowing love and joy. His name is Jesus.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matt 11:28-30

He is the God who transforms my life and helps me to understand the meaning of life. Not an obligation, but if u're willing, experience Him and u will testify the same. His name is Jesus.

Random

2008-02-15T19:35:00.008+08:00

I am especially touched when a friend trusts me, even before I explain myself.

I think this is the best thing a friend could do for me. Trust me even when everyone else does not. A nod of understanding never fails to warm my heart when I am lost of words, anxiously and helplessly trying to explain myself.

I never forget the times I poured out all I had to strive for king scout. On the last night of the expedition, everyone else was fatigue and wanted to give up on climbing Mount Matang, which was the last task given to us. The rest agreed with letting only the guys go so that they could reach the mountain top faster and take a pic as evidence of the task accomplished and that we would not miss the last bus back to town.

Despite the lethargy, I disagreed with the idea and insisted in following the guys to complete the last task, because I did not want to have regrets, regrets of giving up and cheat after I'd gone so far.

No one was on my side. Others persuaded me. I knew what they meant and their rationale, but deep down in my heart I persisted.

I didn't know what to do because no one understood. I withdrew myself and cried.

Feeling sober, I went back to the group. Then I looked at the leader, told him how much I wanted to go, how I wished he could understand.

Beyond my expectation........ he nodded. He said he did. Although he did not look at me when he answered that, his nod of understanding warmed my heart.

When I thought no one understood, he did.

A nod was sufficient.

He is a friend who meant a lot to me. One who always support, one who understands and whom I can depend on.

Thanks.

Time for myself

2008-01-26T22:06:00.001+08:00

Every now and then, I enjoy living in my own imaginary world. Imagine loving an unreal someone whom I made up in my mind, imagine spending our own sweet time value each other's companion, even when none speaks.

How sweet... :)

Days have been hectic. I have a long list of things to do but I opt to spare time for myself. Stare blankly, enjoy the soothing rhythm of songs... spending time with myself. Contented.

Endless work, meetings, readings, responsibility overwhelmed me. I hardly have time to be lonely. Loneliness which, on occasion, could be a bliss.

I need time to rest, sleep, complete the mound of tutorial and readings, lie on bed reading readers digest, have meals with friends and chatting time away, go for a hair cut... or just enjoy listening to songs, cho boh (doing nothing)...

I miss having time for myself.

Miss mummy, papa, bro and delt. Miss everyone back there at home. Miss chien, wilson, jos. Miss driving friends around. Miss spending time alone with friend sharing lives. Miss having someone to hug me, hug me tightly so that I know how much they love me.. just like how chien always do...

An Unspoken Bible

2008-01-23T17:52:00.001+08:00

His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant. Kind of esoteric and very, very bright. He became a Christian recently while attending college.

Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church. One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirts, and wild hair. The service has already started and Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat.

The church is complete packed and he can't find a seat. By now people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything. Bill gets closer and closer to the pulpit and, when he realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. (Although perfectly acceptable behaviour at a college fellowship, trust me, this had never happened in this church before!)

By now the people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick. About this time, the minster realizes that from way at the back of the church, an Elder is slowly making his way toward Bill. Now the Elder is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do.

How can you expect a man of his age and his background to understand some college kid on the floor? It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy. The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane.

All the eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minster can't even preach the sermon until the Elder does what he has to do. And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great difficulty he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worship with him so he won't be alone.

Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister gains control, he says, "What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget. Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will ever read."

How much you are willing to pay for the comfort of your feet?

2008-01-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

Hey friends, here I am to survey how much people are willing to pay for a pair of comfy shoe.

Do respond! =)

How much you are willing to pay for the comfort of your feet??

More christmas pics =)

2008-01-01T18:32:00.001+08:00

*** Christmas @ Suntech City ***

*** Christmas @ Somerset OG ***

*** Christmas @ Fountain of Wealth ***

*** Christmas tree @ The Cathay ***

*** Christmas tree @ Central ***

*** Christmas tree @ Raffles place ***

New Year Celebration

2008-01-01T17:39:00.000+08:00

Woohoo.. U must wonder how I celebrated new year last night huh?

I WENT TO EAST COAST PARK!!!

YAY! Hearing ECP excites me so so much! =P

Woke up at 8am in the morning to meet up with the sisters at Tiong Bahru to do the shopping for the afternoon picnic lunch. Had fun time preparing pasta, sandwiches and potato salad at Hui San's place =)

We over-estimated the appetite of the people, especially the brothers... Some of them had their lunch before that lah.. so under the circumstances of not having people volunteering themselves to finish up the food we'd prepared for the afternoon, we volunteered people by playing... Deng deng deng deng.... 終極密碼!!!!!!!! Those who got the precise number which was set before hand had no choice but to finish any food chosen by the people before the game started. Wuuuhuuuhuuu... There we go, the food was wiped clean in the glance of an eye!

Then then, we split into 2 groups to spend the rest of the time we had there.. Some went for bowling, the rest went for cycling. I opted for the latter. Hey, wait... Brenda went cycling???

Hey people, proudly announce to the world that Brenda knows how to cycle! She just picks up things that fast... tsk tsk tsk what to do... =P

Alrighty, done with the cycling and bowling, the unit went down to Clark Quay for New year countdown! Woohoo! There were so many ppl......

Nah.. this is the place where we gathered! The Coffee Bean =)

From there we watched the fireworks at this angle..
P/s: See the smoke between the buildings?? Fireworks lah!

Had whale of good time waiting for the clock to strike 12.. All of the sudden we met.... PASTOR JASMINE! LoL! She was also there with her friends counting down for New Year and she was so excited when she saw us! Woohoo...

WHEN IT WAS 12AM....

Lighted the sparklers...

Everyone shouted, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!"

After that, Qianru, Hongyao and I went back to ECP to stay overnight with the others who camped there!

Hongyao played guitar, Qianru and I sang and praised God.. Then the shepherd and sheep chatted throughout the night... Till the sun had risen...

*** The tents and the rented bicycles

*** The dusk at ECP (and the cycling crew...)

*** The dawn at ECP

Thank God for Qianru and the big NYC family!
Love u all loadssSSSSS!!!!

Brenda, have the sense of urgency in spreading the gospel!

Christmas 2007!

2007-12-28T01:13:00.000+08:00

I am sure you all had seen variety of Christmas trees at this season of Christmas... So there's no point taking pic of the ordinary Christmas trees, right? =P

Now here's some pics of the artistic Christmas trees exhibited in Suntech City, Singapore... =)

1. CHRISTMAS TREE #1

*UPCLOSE*

2. CHRISTMAS TREE #2

*UPCLOSE*

3. CHRISTMAS TREE #3

*UPCLOSE*

4. CHRISTMAS TREE #4

*UPCLOSE*

5. CHRISTMAS TREE #5

*UPCLOSE*

6. CHRISTMAS TREE #6

*UPCLOSE*

7. CHRISTMAS TREE #7

*UPCLOSE*

Vote for your own fav Christmas tree of the year! =)

More pics of Christmas in Sg 2007? Stay tune to Brenda's =P

If only you guys were here...

2007-12-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

I am so not used to life without circle of friends. How can you expect one who never short of friends to keep her accompany at any time to get use to days without friends when she needs one the most?

When can I find a Kia Ing here in sg? Where can I find Chien here in sg? I need a Jos here in sg.

上帝啊, 我需要一个能交心的朋友.

It is at time like this, I miss my dear friends the most... When I need someone to be here for me, I miss my dear friends the most... If only you guys were here...

God's way, narrow way...

2007-12-16T14:21:00.000+08:00

When bad things happen, how do you normally react? It just wasn't my day? Bad day? Bad luck? or God has a lesson for us to learn?

Like a coin with 2 sides, it depends on whether you wana see as how worldly people view it or how God's people are willing to learn things God's way even though it might sound irrational at times. Brenda chooses the latter.

Brenda has been a clumsy girl. Never take good care of her belongings and is forgetful as to where she has placed her stuff and whom she has lent them to.

She has finally learned her lesson on one fine Sunday afternoon after church service, walking away after lunch without realizing she dropped her purse on the ground. Not bothered to check if she had taken all her possession, she chit-chatted with friends on way up to church for meeting after she had filled her stomach. She remembered she had to top-up her phone credit but ignored the thought by thinking she could do it after the meeting. It was the thought that made her regret.

When she was about to find her purse to reload her phone credit after the meeting, she realized it was no where to be found. Anxiously, she dashed to the table where she had lunch with friends and looked around. She saw her purple purse lying on the ground under the table. Picked it up, unzipped, looked carefully... and found out that there were only her driving license and I.C. left. The RM150 which was with the cards.... was gone!

She looked around the crowd helplessly. She asked her friends who were still hanging around if they saw any suspicious person picking up the purse, and also the men who were sitting next to the table where she found her purse but it was of no help. The men would not admit, even if they were the one who took the money, that it was their deed.

Disappointed, helplessly, assuring her friends that it was okay, she walked away.

As she was driving home she was reminded of how temporal is treasure on earth and that there is no security at all in storing up worldly possessions which thief could steal and natural disaster could sweep away.

Matt 6:19-21
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

How true it is when God says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".

*** I felt the pain in losing the money my dad just gave me the night before. I felt hard to rejoice when I lost something that was belonging to me. But I want to learn this lesson God's way even though it is the harder way. In fact, it is always easier for me to say, "It was my bad luck" or to resort in self-pity or the blame game and come out with countless what-ifs situations. But I want to remind myself that I should not hold back unduly and selfishly of the blessing God has given me, be it monetary blessing or gifts He has given me, but to contribute back to God's kingdom.

Proverbs 11:24
One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another witholds unduly, but comes to poverty.

Giving and sacrificing is a form of commitment to God's church and kingdom. One man cannot serve 2 masters, God and money. He will either gain one or lose another. Brenda, be stingy no more to God.

With pain and heart ache, crying out to God, "I've learned Your lesson, thank You, Lord..."

THE END

It just feels great to be home!

2007-12-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

Hey hey...
It has been long since the last post huh? I wonder if anyone comes back to visit this blog anymore =P

Back to Kuching, my home, my family.. It is terrific! I still remember, I couldn't help but kept thinking bout the places I wanted to go and food I wanted to taste when I was sitting for my last paper.

4 months away from home, you might think it isn't very long, but long enough to make me miss every single thing that is so familiar to me..

Alright enough of being nostalgic. Guess what, my mum actually magnifies this fact that I'VE GAINED WEIGHT!!! She tells it to everyone, relatives and even my friends... Well, it isn't so hard to notice the extra fat that I've gained over the months and I really feel bad about it. LOL! Yeah, Brenda is rounder... go ahead and laugh.........

Just bought a pair of sport shoes last night, promising myself that I must jog and lose weight.. well, thank to the raining season, there's nothing I can do with it.. lol!

I am so gonna get rid of those extra 4kg of fats, or even more! Due to laziness, I did nothing out of the first week of holiday here.. I am not going to waste my holiday!!!!! I must do something!!!!
I really do not wana blog about not losing any weight after the 3 weeks holiday here..

BRENDA, DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!

Lesson learned from a listening ear

2007-11-13T09:53:00.000+08:00

I really find it a joy to share what I've learned from The Lord everyday... Hope it encourages you, friends..

Prov 25:6
Do not exalt yourself in the King's presence, and do not claim a place among great man
The Lord is giving this analogy to remind us of who we are.. we are no one but HIs servant, no one but sinners saved by grace. I need to learn humility from Jesus.

Prov 25:12
Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear
Ornaments of fine gold complements you, so as a listening ear to a wise man's rebuke. Lesson learned grows us and makes us a better child of God.

Prov 25:27
It is not good to eat too much honey, nor it is honorable to seek one's own honor
Implied humility. Do not seek own heart's honor but seek God's.

Prove 25:28
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control
Keep your tongue. Be on guard of your self-control or it will bring disaster.

DO NOT BE AFRAID! FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU!

JIA YOU, BRENDA!!!!!!! DO YOUR BEST FOR THE LORD! HONOR GOD WITH ALL YOU HAVE!

LORD!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT LEAVE ME OUT! I NEED YOU AND YOUR SPIRIT!

I MISS YOUUUUUUUU!

2007-11-11T17:31:00.000+08:00

Dear, I miss you so much...
Heard that u're slimmer now... Wana hug u RIGHT NOW!
Glad to know that u're enjoying what u're doing...
I want you back, CHIENNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discern God's very heart

2007-11-10T09:13:00.000+08:00

Friends, I often pray that I will do what pleases God only. Today I've learned what really pleases God.

Prov 23:15
My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.

I was so amazed when I read this verse! I found the way to make God's "inmost being to rejoice"!!! I often thank God for His infilling of joy and God never fails to make my inmost being to rejoice. How to do the same to God??!!! ----> Be wise and speak what is right!!! IT MAKES GOD HAPPY!

Ultimately, how to be wise and speak what is right is through the understanding of God's word. Lets increase our reservoir of God's truth and spread the love around! =)

Be encouraged!

Quiet time, when God speaks

2007-11-09T10:41:00.000+08:00

21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom I have in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

Psalms 73:21-28

The WOG reminded me that sometimes when bad things happen, I react like a brute beast before God. Throwing tantrums, pouring out lamentations and complains mindlessly, denying the strength that God says He has provided me with. But God assured me again with his everlasting promise. I want to be like David, proclaiming God's grace and faithfulness in times of difficulties!

I have learned this one thing from Paul in 2Cor 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me!

Friends, I know many of you are frantically preparing for final exam.. but be encouraged and take heart that God, our faithful God, the wisdom-giver God, is backing us up! Lets rely on Him and draw strength from Him! In the midst of anxiousness and nervousness, SEE GOD!!!. Friends, lets ask God to use us even at this time of exam preparation to shine before men as children of God by spreading love and blessings to friends, bros and sis around! God is with us! =)

Evan Almighty

2007-11-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

Just watched this movie - Evan Almighty. As commented, a lighted-hearted movie with inspiring story line. It isn't any random story written, it's the extraordinary story of Noah in the bible. A modern Noah, Evan, starred by Steve Carell, is called by God to build an ark before the great flood. Everyone in the world thinks that it's insane and absurb of him to claim that God actually talked to him and asked him to build an ark to save the people from the flood. Well, it's basically what the movie is about but I've learned a greater lesson beyond.

I am not any kind of movie analyst presenting my review on this movie but I am here to share with you the inspiration I got after watching this movie.

1. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Prov 19:21
In the movie, Evan, the main actor, mentioned something like building the ark isn't part of his plan.. He has the new house, the new car, his career as a newly elected to the Congress to care about and he thought God's idea is just too absurb! Many at times, we simply think we have too much things to concern about or too much work on hand that we would never ever let God and "His stuff" to take any more of our time. Step back and think, WHAT ARE YOU BUSY WITH? Life Goal? Achievement? Studies? Friends? Relationship? Whatever it is.. which of it awards you eternal life? When will you be satisfied with the never-ending-items in your wish list?
Have you forgotten the day when God spoke to you and you were so committed and promised Him that you will follow Him and let Him take control? But how many times have we failed to do so? Lets recommit ourselves to the work of The Lord again. The Great Commission!
Matt 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the end of the age.
When we choose to commit ourselves to God again, He never fail to forgive and forget our past.. but never take God for granted..

2. "Be strong and courageous, for you will bring the Israelites into the land I promised them on oath, and I myself will be with you" Deut 31:23
God empowered Joshua who was going to suceed Moses before Moses' death with these words in Deut 31:23 to lead the Isaelites into the promised land. I was so encouraged when I read this verse as if God was speaking to me. "BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS! AND I MYSELF WILL BE WITH YOU", says God. How affirming.
Relate it back to the movie, Evan questioned God, how is he going to build this ark all alone!? He has never build an ark and he has never get his hands on building one and he has never thought of building one and he definitely never WANT TO!
Sounds familiar? When we bargain with God, "Never has I thought of spreading the gospel, God! I know it sounds easy, but God, have u heard bout this clinche which goes it's always easier said than done? Now, I understand the fact that it is good and it saves life, well, I'm glad I've heard it.. But you want me to spread it and tell it to my friends? well, God, it's way too shameful and I don't think I can and I never have the courage nor the wisdom..." and it goes on and on....................
You can continue to lament how unable you are and stuff like that, but God sees clearly, crystal clear, YOUR UNWILLINGNESS. Keep your excuses and cut those nonsense. God's will must be done!
Be assured. Take heart of God's promises that He himself will be with you, friends!

3. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Heb 10:36
In the movie, Evan Almighty, no one truted Evan who said there will be a great flood, which is told by God to him. No one trusted him, but he said, "I know something is going to happen". When everyone around doubted him, God and His word was the only thing Evan held on to, he knew God was going to do something more than the less-than-10-mins rain which everyone thought was a joke made by God on him.
It continues in verse 37
"He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."
Verse 39 - But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
A HEARTY AMEN! Friends, we are not of those who shrink back and destroyed but those who believe and are saved! AMEN!?!!

LETS PUT GOD'S PLAN FIRST AND BE COURAGEOUS KNOWING GOD IS WITH US AND WHEN WE PERSEVERE, WE SHALL RECEIVE WHAT GOD HAS PROMISED! =)

Heart fix or heart shift?

2007-10-31T01:12:00.000+08:00

Wana share with u guys this sermon which I've learned a lot from. Preached by Ps Christie Ong - Heart fix or heart shift?

1. Determination to stay on course : FOCUS
1Cor 9:24
"Do you know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize".

Phil 3:13-14
"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead."

Have your heart fixed on Jesus at all time, under all circumstances.

Choose commitment over comfort!

When we face challenges, hold on to God's promise

Roman 8:28
"And we know in all things, God works good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose"

Stay strong!

Prov 24:10
"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength"!

Do not focus on how far u still need to go, focus on how far u've come along!

2. Train to win : DISCIPLINE YOUR HEART AND MIND
1Cor 9:27
"No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize"

Prov 4:23 "Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"

Heb 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith"

Renew your mind with the Word of God until there is breakthrough

Train your heart and mind to the leading of the Holy Spirit and keep the inner man in you quiet when all things around go chaos.

Let God be God!

I couldn't agree with the pastor more when she said that sometimes, we do let emotions be the god in us. We sometimes do let emotions govern our thoughts and deeds. How shallow is our faith that we falter when Satan does little trick. Jesus was not swayed at all when He was tempted by Satan. No wonder we need to constantly be renewed by God's word and strengthened by His spirit. Who shall we draw strength and faith from if not from the author and perfector of faith, God, himself?

Lets ask God to teach us how to guard our hearts and fix our eyes on Jesus that we may run this race whole-heartedly.

Sunday aftn

2007-10-21T14:48:00.000+08:00

I enjoy reading blogs whenever I have meals before my laptop on my study table alone in room. Had the mouth-watering chicken chop with spagetti as lunch. It was a luxury which only cost me $3.50. I never thought my hall canteen food was nice until I tried this.
So so, the blog that I read while I'm having my lunch this aftn is Ps Jeff's!
I was indeed encouraged by the entries he posted. From the posts, I thought, Ps Jeff is such a gifted preacher whom many look up to, but he has such a humble heart before God and this character of his reminds me of the little child Jesus mentioned in the book of Matthew.
Matt18: 3-4
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
He has such a big heart for God and the church and at the same time, he humbles himself like a little child and this character, Jesus described, has to be found in a man in order for him to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Ps Jeff is a preacher of God's word who is able to portray the relevance of the bible and characters of Jesus in this contemporary society clearly. I always enjoy listening to his sermon and it many times challenges my heart to move a step forward for God.
I will follow his example as he follow the example of Christ as how Paul urged the Corinthians in 1Cor11:1 - "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ".
I am very much blessed by the church and leaders. I am grateful for the brothers and sisters who are running this race with me.

I thank God for YOU! =)

Heya!

2007-10-18T14:50:00.000+08:00

It has been habitual. Whenever I open my Safari I'll go - My blog, friendster, facebook and check my 2 gmail accs.

Lately, whenever I visit my blog I feel kinda bad for not keeping it lively. So here I am, posting thoughts of mine =)

Life has been hectic. It's more than meets the eyes. I have 2 quizzes in this week alone. Next week I'll have acc quiz and the week aft next IT. Gosh, I really gona brush up my IT.. (Yell at myself: "READ MORE!"). Tutorial is piling and there's reading to be done. A month from now I'm going to face the grand finale. Time never waits.

I am so happy (and proud of myself =P) that I managed to only spend $100 for the first 2 weeks of October. Zai lerhh! haha.. I'm going to keep on this thrifty habit and save up as much as I can for greater purpose in the future!
Like.. hmm.. going for Thai camp, KL trip (and shopping!), coming back sg earlier for Christmas celebration and sorts (definitely need to spend more for coming back here earlier, living expense is 2.33 times more exp and darn, the figure keeps HIKING!!!!!), trip to Sabah (HURRAY!), Vietnam (Jos, our backpacking trip plan! =)) and many many more... =D

Alrighty, happy and satisfied. Gona keep chiongggginggggggggg!!!!!

To bloggers/readers who are also chionging,
JIA YOU LOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! =) =) =)

Be magnified

2007-10-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

Have your life been sailing smooth all the way? Do u think you're being JUST FINE as a Christian and in handling everything else in your life?

Paul warned. "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!"
1Cor 10:12

I thought my life had been JUST FINE... everything never seemed to go wrong.. until God tested me.

God reminded me of His word, but why had I been like the seed that lands in the gravel? I repented.

Matt 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and righteousness...."
This verse had never been so alive before.
Lord, I repent.

I thank God for this test. It brings me back to the fundamental truth that I should always come before God with a repentance heart.

I want to strive to be God's reflector, the product of The Potter's hand, cleansed by The Holy fire.

Praise You, Jesus.

Be Magnified - Don Moen
I have made you too small, in my eyes
O Lord, forgive me
And I have believed in a lie
That you were unable to help me.
But now O Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And in my eyes,and with my song
O Lord, be magnified
O Lord, be magnified.

Chorus
Be magnified O lord,
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing you can't do
O Lord, my eyes are on you,be magnified,
O lord be magnified,O Lord be magnified

EMO BRENDA

2007-10-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

OK... I've decided to blurt out everything here. Dear readers, bear with me.. or u can just skip this post..
I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF! I AM SUCH A FOOL!
I SHOULD HAD KNOWN THAT U'RE LIKE THAT, WHY AM I TAKING THIS SO SERIOUSLY?
FOR A WEEK OF ANXIOUSNESS, WHAT FOR?!!!!!! JUST FOR THE DAY! I HAD MISPLACED MY FOCUS POINT!
I AM A DUMBO!
GET OFF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just for the sake of killing time

2007-10-08T09:59:00.000+08:00

- Projects, tutorial, quiz fill up all my time
- This thurs is going to do my final project of the CL manual during sch toastmaster meeting - NERVOUSSSS!!!
- Wasted my weekend - sadDDDDD
- Did my speech preparation FOR THE WHOLE DAY OF SUNDAYYY!!!
- Gona jia you in chiong-ing for this week - I NEED STRENGTH!
- Going to meet Chris this coming sun for SHOPPINGGG!!! YAY YAY YAY! =)
- I gona continue to be stingy stingy stingy to save up! =)
- Practise guitar!!!
- Continue to... quote from Cindy's blog - LIVE LOVE LAUGH! =)

Cheers!

U, CHOC, LEAVE ME ALONE!

2007-10-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

I'm a real dumbo. I am so disturbed by this insignificant stuff! I shud be cool with it but why deep inside, it just doesn't stop stirring!!! U DUMBO CHOC! I lost my logic n rationale!... for the time being.. hope it doesn't last! argghhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

New blog look!

2007-10-05T01:13:00.000+08:00

Hey friends!
How's the new look???
WAITTTTTTT... I bet u're bout to bubble out all the comments u have?

"Brenda ah, too bright....."
"Brenda.. font too big..."
"Cheh, just change from dark to bright skin..."
"Brenda, too simple!"
"Brenda, more pics!...."

No matter what your comments are, please drop them all here. I wish to improve as I'm still learning!

Do drop by from time to time!

Thoughts: I'm really happy that I can come out with something. Call me an idiotic blogger but I am quite satisfied with this simple and pleasant blog look I came out with because it portrays my identity with the combination of my fav colours GREEN & PURPLE, Brenda-ish blog look, doesn't it? hehe. Anyways, hope u guys like it, too! =)

God's lesson

2007-10-02T17:56:00.000+08:00

Matt 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." says The Lord.

Indeed, I am weary, Lord. I am incapable in so many things. But again God taught me how to surrender everything to Him.

Prov 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

God puts unloving people around us to teach us how to be loving. God puts loving people around us to show us how unloving we are.

Lord, I stand in awe of You.

Praise You, Jesus.

范玮琪 - 诚实

2007-10-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

你说我变漂亮了有一种清朗的神色
你的微笑挡著快决堤的寂寞
我心疼但没说也不能说
你说你们分开了為什麼我眼睛红了
星星像被风吹得有点摇晃著
你试著牵我手我躲开了

有时候诚实多麼容易
尤其是看最爱的人伤心
你的幸福真的不在我这里
你走以後我整理好就再确定

对自己诚实岂只是勇气
懂得坚持更要舍得放弃
有些感动会落地生根的定居
有些快乐是终究得回家的旅行

A very nice song sang by fan fan..
Anyone volunteers to help me dl her album?
范玮琪-哲学家
I'll be absolutely grateful =)

Get to know BRENDA better

2007-09-30T17:15:00.000+08:00

Brenda
= blur
= slack
= impatient
= extravagant
= dependent
= slow learner
= game idiot
= computer idiot
= blogger idiot
= emotional
= workaholic
= inconsistent

Since I came Sg I discover so much more of my incapability. I have so much weakness to improve on..

"Whom I have in heaven but You. There's nothing I desire besides You. My heart and my strength many times they fail, but there is one truth that always will prevail - God is the strength of my heart...."

Unit restructure

2007-09-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

Just came back from NYC sub-d combine. It was a great time when all 5 cgs in NYC came together for a gathering, or rather a cg. We praised God with songs and worship God with melody. Word of God was shared by our UL Xing Ni. Before the sub-d combine started Qian Ru told me that it's an important sub-d combine. It's the first sub-d combine of this new academic yr, it's also a time of announcement of the restructure of the unit which I didn't know until we were about to end the cg.

I believe the restructure is for the benefit of all since the group has grown much in quantity. Some might feel heavy to leave pals whom they have been sticking together with over the yrs in a cg, some might feel hard to move on to other group which they, at this point of time, think it's hard to click with. But I really want to encourage those who wish the restructure has not been done.. The leaders have their reasons to split the cg and move one or two person in particular to another cg. We always have to look at the bigger pic of God's instead of just what we're facing right now at this instance. We might feel uncomfortable being surrounded with cg members whom we think it's hard to get along with but time is all it takes. In fact, God is all we need to focus on.. If you love God, your love for Him should be the driving force for you to do more and go extra mile for Him and His people.

There are 3 leaders raised up to be cgl. One of them is Qian Ru. I believe in her capability and I have faith God will definitely use her to a greater extent for His kingdom. Qian Ru, I will always support u, k!! Man mi, JIA YOU also! I believe God has entrusted more responsibility to you as you've shown your faithfulness in what He has blessed you with. Look forward to new cg. God will work greatly and we shall all look forward to experiencing God more as we grow in Him!

Thoughts:
God has taught me to sing love songs to Him during pnw. I know I do not have much to give and offer, but I know all that God desires of me is a willing heart and I pray that He will honour this heart of mine.

JUMP! - Jesus U Must Praise!

2007-09-21T18:38:00.001+08:00

Yo yo!!!
Brenda is on holiday!!!!
YAY YAY YAY!!!

Finally I can make a time to post this entry on the JUMP! I didn't take much photo, but hey, I improved and due to the demand of Greg and Johnson.. and also Morgan.. haha.. I took 2 vids. I must say they were really blur but I had done my best for u guys. Be appreciative, k? =)
I must start working part time asap so that one day I can afford myself a cam and no longer need to bear with the 2.0mp SE cam phone. Well, for the time being, still thank God for what He has blessed me with. A digi cam is luxury.

Ready for JUMP! guys?? There we go!

Jesus U Must Praise!

AMEN!!!!

This is the file we got when we registered ourselves at Nexus that morning. Which was 16th Sept. There were notes inside on the teachings during the conference. Ps Prayuth was the main speaker of the day and ching ching, one of Hope Bangkok worship team support singers (and she's really good!), was his translator as he spoke in Thai. He was a humorous and very engaging speaker on stage. A godly man with unshakable faith.
He shared that worship leader is one who should lead the congregation into deep level of worship together with his/her team and musicians. They should aim to bring people to encounter with God and submission to God during worship. One testimony he shared regarding worship team in Hope Bangkok was that if either one of the members of the team has issue or conflict within the church or even cg, he/she is not allowed to perform on stage. They would rather having a guitarist/drummer/pianist in lack than to have one who is sinning performing on stage and impart bad spirit to the whole congregation. Every member in worship team is required to have right heart before God before they can serve the church.

During the conference, there were different workshops catered to members respective musical instrument. The instructors of the workshops were the Hope Bangkok worship team musicians. I play no musical instrument so I joined the teaching session for the "joyful noise makers"! LoL. Hey, joyful noise makers also need to have knowledge in worshiping God okay? lol.

Pastor Prayuth - The cry of a baby is the sign of new life. Similarly, the sign of new life of a child of God is the joyful noise one makes during worship!
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Enough of the theory and teaching, the next day 17th Sept was the actual day when we put all things that we've learned throughout in practice!

IT'S THE JUMP! CONCERT!!!!!!

We sang more praise songs than worship. It was really an awesome time when God's children raised their voices to The King of Kings, Lord of Lords! AMEN!

The heart of the people was prepared to receive the impartation of God's spirit during worship. God never fails to reach out when we cry out to Him. God never fails to draw us closer to Him when we seek Him with all our hearts. Let praises arise!

Vids of one of the last songs we sang... Kinda noisy. Guess what song was that?

P/s: Not my hand shaky, the ppl were cheering around and kick my slippers off and I got panicky.. I was bout to retrieve my shoe and the sister standing besides me pulled me back to avoid me being knocked down by the ppl. Suasana yang riuh-rendah, huh? INDEED. That was basically what happened as I was taking the vid =P

Cant really be very detail in describing because it's bout time for me to get ready for service! hehe.

Pics after the concert.

Brenda: "mm (our camera girl), press and hold the cam! Say 1, 2, 3, we're not ready yet!"
Mm: "It's so dark! haha!! okok."

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After few attempts we still couldn't get a decent picture.
Mm: "HAHAHA!!! ArghHHHHH....!!!"
Brenda: "We must have faith and pray!"
*Laid hand on mm and started praying in tongue while posting besides the banner*
Mm: "1, 2, 3!"

Brenda, Serence, Mm: "YAY!!!!!!! Finally!"
Brenda: "THE POWER OF PRAYER!" =)

Oh ya, if u ever wonder who the girl standing besides me is, she is Serene, my cgl. Thought I mentioned it in the last few posts? Still ask....!!

Vid of roughly how the whole concert was full with ppl. Took this after the concert.

Bought a shirt! Power of Praise Shirt. Hope Bangkok brought over 700 shirts for fund raising for the upcoming Power of Praise. A plain green one for only $9! hehe.
POP is on the 4th November!! Anyone's interested??!!!!

Happy 16th Birthday, Hope Singapore!
So blessed for being in this BIG FAMILY OF GOD!

My body pheromone at work

2007-09-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

Read bout one of the questions of the tag in friend's blog about man who wears perfume. My body pheromone never fail to be sensitive towards fragrance. Met up with a friend today and when we sat down, our distance wasn't far enough for me not to realize that he wore perfume. The aroma aroused me.. stirred up a desire in falling in love.. =)

Hope Sg 16th Anni - Touching people, changing lives!

2007-09-16T21:16:00.000+08:00

Hope Singapore just celebrated the 16th Anniversary last night! It was a wonderful night which God's children came together to worship the faithfulness of our Father in Heaven!

I was so blessed to be able to join in the celebration of this big day with Hope family in Singapore not long after I celebrated Hope Kuching's 15th Anniversary with my big family back there in Kuching! :) The theme of the celebration this year is TOUCHING PEOPLE, CHANGING LIVES!

As I was jotting down the sermon, I flipped few pages back and I saw this...

>>> Hope Kuching 15th Anniversary celebration on the 15/7/07

>>> Message of the day was MOVING FORWARD! By our dear Ps Simon.

>>> EXACTLY 2 months later was.... Hope Singapore 16th Anniversary celebration on the 15/9/07! AMAZING!

>>> The sermon of the night was FAITH THAT MAKES A MAXIMUM IMPACT! By Ps PN.

**** MOVE FORWARD WITH A FAITH THAT MAKES A MAXIMUM IMPACT! **** :)

Whisper: Look more pro in blogging with attachment of the pictures of my sermon notes for clearer illustration? lol!

>>> Ps Ben and his wife, Dinah were the MC of the night. Both in orange.

>>> Ps Ben.....

>>> ..... and his wife, Dinah =)

>>> Had the privilege to listen to Ps PN's sermon for the first time

>>> Ps PN

I've recorded Ps PN's sermon that night and if u guys want to listen to it, do let me know and I will upload it here =)

Hope Singapore took the lead in praise and worship, it was terrific with God's people praising The Most High God! Hope Bangkok then led the congregation into God's presence under the leading of Ps Prayuth. Ps Prayuth was the pastor to start the project of Power of Praise. He was given prophecy by Ps PN to take charge of this project with zero budget. Ps and the team trusted in The Lord so then work hard to raise fund. This year Power of Praise is going to be held on the 4th Nov!
I WISH TO GO!!!!

>>> Jesus' worshipers. Let Jesus be enthroned!

>>> The closing - Hope Bangkok + Hope Singapore worship team! =D

Indeed, God honors the hearts of His servants and has blessed His church so much. My heart is moved by the zeal of the bros and sis who are willing to sacrifice for the expansion of God's kingdom. I will grow under the leading of these godly leaders!

LAST SHOT...

>>> NYC A1!!! My cg! From left, Serene (my cgl), Si Hui (girl down), Aaron (guy up), Jing Ting, Kelvin, Qian Ru (my shepherd), Qi Ming (guy up)& ME!

Attended the JUMP! Worship conference today from morning 830am-4.15pm. Learned a lot from Hope Bangkok worship team especially Ps Prayuth. They are people chosen by God to shine forth for His glory. Ps Prayuth told us a lot about great things God had done through his life despite his inadequacy.

I was reminded that God's heart is ever desire me to be WHO He wants me to be. Willing, Humble and Obedient.

I am glad to be part of the big family of God! I am grateful for this life that He has given that I may serve Him!

Next up:

JUMP! - Jesus U Must Praise! worship conference + concert by Hope Bangkok (tml night 8pm at Touch Community Theater) Stay tune! :)

Deeper in love

2007-09-13T00:03:00.000+08:00

There is a longing only You can fill
A raging tempest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I'm known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied

Boredom

2007-09-10T16:43:00.000+08:00

Ok, since I'm waiting for my movie to load, I might as well do something to entertain myself and u guys.. lol

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag

2. Relationship? Single

3. Your hair? Smooth =P

4. Study? Steady (Wahsehhh)

5. Your sister? Bernadelt

6. Your favorite thing? Numerous

7. Your dream last night? Nope

8. Your favorite drink? MILO! (YeahhHH!)

9. Your dream car? BMW

10. The room you're in? Cozy

11. Your shoes? Comfy

12. Your fears? (The) Undefined

13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Godly

14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? CuzzZZ

15. What are you not good at? Cycling

16. One of your wish list items? Converts!

17. Where you grew up? Kuching

18. Last thing u did? Project

19. What are u wearing? Casual

20. What aren't you wearing? Specs (AHA! lol)

21. Your pet? NaahH

22. Your computer? Macbook (LOVE IT! =D)

23. Your life? Unpredictable

24. Your mood? Relaxed

25. What are you thinking about right now? Sleeepp

26. Your car? NopeeE

27. Your kitchen? Shared

28. Your summer? Singapore! (Summer thruout the year!)

29. Your favourite color? GREEN!

30. Last time you laughed? Forgot

31. Last time you cried? Saturday

32. School? NTU

33. Love? God =D

**** The End ****

Thoughts: Do not feel well. Sore throat makes me loss appetite. I need to slim down and save up!

2007-09-02T00:52:00.000+08:00

Hey hey, this is the NIGHT SAFARI TRIP entry as promised! :)

Last night went to the night safari with Xing Ni (NYC-Nanyang Campus UL) and her sis, Xing Ling. Yeaps Johnson, the Xing Ni you asked me to contact when I first reached here :)

Have been looking forward to go to Night Safari and the zoo and I finally had the chance last night.
THANKS TO XING NI! She treated me for the trip.
SO BLESSED! :)

The admission fee for adult is S$22 without tram and S$32 with tram. Expensive right? VERY!
Actually Xing Ni had the privilege to get 50% discount for 5 person as a Starhub (like Digi/Hotlink in Msia) subscriber but the promotion only starts in Sept and yesterday was the last day of Aug! lol! I thought it was more worth it to go some other time but the rest thought since we're there already, might as well just be extravagant for a night... lol! nolah, might as well just go in lohh..

Alright, bloggers.. Need not be jealous.. I took some photos using my 2.0mp SE camera phone (suddenly feel so pitiful compare to those who just got their N series 3.0mp MUSIC EDITION Nokia phone.. lol!)

There you go...

>>> The Night Safari Singapore!

>>> "World's greatest Night Safari". A plane model hang not far from the entrance.

Upcoming are photos of SOME nocturnal animals. Not very clear.. but enough to satisfy u guys right? haha..

>>> The..... ermmMM... barking deer! Interesting right? haha.. The deer is so named because of its deer alarm call sounds like the bark of a dog. It usually stamps its hoofs when barking. Didn't hear it bark though. :P

>>> Description board which they displayed for visitors' info regarding the animal. There's verbal description in Mandarin, Malay, English and Japanese. See the four buttons there. They are the ones.

>>> Next up is the..... see anything? Small creature "above" the leaf.. They are in the water lah not on the leaves.

>>> Yeaps. Do read the description.

A funny story when we were looking at the otter. The otters are making noise and there was the English child passing by and commented that they were noisy, then I heard the parent replied, "Not as u are!" lol!

>>> This might be really blurr.. The top left hand corner.. see a creature with spots on its body? Guess what it is...

>>> It's the leopard cat! It's like a leopard in a cat size loh! Cool lerhh.. hehe..

>>> The picture of a leopard cat

There are many more animals there lah.. I didn't get to take the pictures of all. There was the spotted hyena which "laughs" like human beings! lol! Really! It was really amusing. That's the logic behind the proverb of "Laugh like a hyena" which literally means your laugh scares people off. haha!

>>> After the long walk seeing the animals, we then watched the performance of the homo sapiens playing around with fire. lol!

>>> Then we went shopping! Xing Ling was captivated with a belt which cost S$23. She was undecided whether to get it or not. Eventually she left with a heavy heart without the belt. lol. She MIGHT be dragging me there again to get it in the near future. lol!

>>> Xing Ni and I =)

>>> Xing Ling and I =)

>>> The sisters and I =D See the word "SAFARI" behind? Haha we tried so hard to get it into the pic. lol.

>>> Another shot of Xing Ling and I.

>>> One more. SMILE~ =)

We went McD for supper after that. Student price for a set of Mc Chicken+drink+fries for S$4.50. Quite a good deal.

Had great time going to another interesting place in Singapore. I have list of places to visit in near future! haha.. Under water world, zoo, east coast, west coast....................
I have 3 more years. WAY TO GO! =)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Just attended church service. It was terrific with God's presence. In fact, nowhere is comparable to the place with God's presence. Ps Ben preached about "The endangered species". The endangered species is referred as godly people/righteous Christians. We, as disciples of Christ, are expected to be the minority in the world and should always stand firm and hold on to God's word and live out His truth despite the misleading world with so much temptation.

After service and dinner the sisters in NYC had an outing together at Coffee Club. Had fruitful time fellowship with one another and look forward to the next sisters outing! =)

An amazing testimony to share. God has been speaking to me through His word nearly every service. It is not mere coincidence. The verses that I read through the night before during QT or morning devotion have always been one of the verses the preacher mentions. I was really amazed. The verse which I read this morning turned out to be one of the verses Ps Ben mentioned.
Psalms 31:4-5
Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.

When we seek the Lord with all our hearts and strive to please Him and not ourselves, He never fail to show us His faithfulness.

This verse touched my heart.
Psalms 31:24
Be strong and take heart, all of you who hope in the Lord.

AMEN! =D
Friends, let us be encouraged!
"When others disappoint u, God never does!"
-Ps Ben KC Lee-

Thoughts:
I miss Ps Denis and Sis Hai Eng... Melvin just told me that Ps Denis is in Miri. Someone please help to get me their email add so that I can mail them... THANKS A LOT!!! :)

Do not give up; grow up!!!

2007-08-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

Isaiah 38:17
Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me form the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.

How assuring, isn't it? This verse touched my heart. Thinking back of all the pain and hurts I thought I was going thru was unbearable, God assured me again that His love is unfailing.

All that I'm going through is for my benefit! God wants me to learn to depend on Him more instead of myself or someone else! Even our pain is in His plan.

Assurance comes from The Lord
Jer 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give u hope and a future.

Peace comes from The Lord
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Psalms 30: 11-12
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thank forever

Brenda, do not give up; GROW UP!!! =D

My Bdae

2007-08-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

Haha.. sorry lah friends, I know it is really late to post up this entry but I post it for u guys anyway.. :P

I'm really happy my cg celebrated my 20th day with me.

Photos...... >>>> >>> My bdae cake! :D

>>> Before cutting the cake..

>>> My cgl, Serene and I. She's cute lerhhh.. haha..

>>> My shepherd, Qian Ru and I =) =) =)
p/s: She looks a lot prettier than how she appears to be in this pic! haha!

>>> Jing Ting, the gorgeous lady and I, the not so gorgeous lady.. LOL!

>>> Si Hui and I!!! Smaller? ya.. coz I look weird. lol!

PARDON ME FOR POSTING PICTURES THAT WILL CAUSE U GUYS TO HAVE NIGHTMARE. LOL! Nolah.. they look gorgeous right?? INDEED! Hehe..

There are 8 ppl in our cg. The other 3 bros are Aaron, Qi Ming and Kelvin. Aaron and Kelvin were busy that day so couldn come to join us..

So blessed to have this family that never fail to give me support and comfort!

***I'M GOING TO ZOO THIS WEEK! CANT WAIT!!!! HAHA!***

I choose to be obedient to The Lord

2007-08-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

Sorry friends, for letting u guys to read about all the sentimental and melancoly posts lately.
Brenda is really weak emotionally. Easily hurt and depress in process of getting use to the new place.

As I was doing my reading for tutorial exercise, my roomie came in and announced to me that she might be moving.
"Hey, I might be moving to single room eh!" she said.
*STUNNED*
"Oh is it?? icic.." Responded lightly with a heavy heart, looking forward for further explanation from her.
"My friend said there's a single room available and asked if i wana take it, so I just say ok loh.."
That was all from her before she went to take bath.

I was left in room figuring the rationale of her decision..

After that we talked and she told me that it was actually due to the inconvenience of climbing up the staircase to the 6th floor after she sprained her knee for twice. It would be easier for her if she were to move to the single room at 4th floor.

Reason accepted.
There's none more convincing than this. I know she has been suffering from the pain of the previous injury. Good that she gets a room of lower floor because sometimes even I find it tough to climb to the 6th floor in order to get to my room.

Mind settled.
Brenda, you are left alone.. again..
Definitely, there will be someone else coming in soon. The school will never leave the double single-bed room with a vacancy.
Soon I will have new roomie again. Literally, not alone again. But it takes time and courage to build up the familiarity once again... This is what I've been doing, be it in room with roomie, in class with friends and everyone else I encounter here. Sometimes I find it tiring and rather choose to stay alone. Befriend with loneliness and talk to God, someone I am, at least, most familiar with..

Lord, I do not know what future brings, but I choose to be obedient. Guide me and build me, Lord.
All I have is You, all I need is You. In Jesus' most wonderful name. AMEN.

Pampering myself when I am all alone.

2007-08-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

A very old cliche - Do u see the cup half empty or half filled?
How u view life depends on the angle u see it from. As God's child, I often remind myself to weight things with kingdom mentality.

I always love to listen to songs, looking back at the footprints I have made along the journey of life.. Have been being nostalgic huh? I admit I do.. =)

Just finished my tutorial, listening to all the old songs I used to love. I still do.. What an indulgence.. Priceless luxury.. indeed.
This is one of the ways I pamper myself when I am all alone.. =)

The trough

2007-08-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

Many of u have seen the cheerful and ever-smiling Brenda. I always want to bring joy to others by being joyful myself. However, there's time for everything. At those not-so-happy moments, I always choose to be honest with myself.
I do not know if it's finally the time for home-sick, culture shock (culture shock??) or the like, I somehow feel I'm so out of place. I grow bitter over many things. I am never good for anything..
I long to laugh with all my heart like I did.
For the days ahead, I will still smile like I always do. I will still try my best to be myself like I always do.. I do not know how long does this last but I am waiting for God to break the silence and speak to my heart.

When little mind is free for exercise

2007-08-07T22:05:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when I'm all alone, having nothing particular to do and just let my mind wander... I always love to reflect of my past, the sweet times when I teared out of joy, and times when I shed tears due to heart brokenness.

Yes, now my mind isn't resting from recalling the days I'd been through...

I used to be an immature young lady. I still do. I learned as God put me through situations to learn His lessons.
There was this particular time of my life which I came across someone who was as innocent as I did. Not knowing specifically what I want for myself, not having any idea of being responsible of my very own deed. I was really innocent.. or rather ignorant.

Was it me who made it up or was it he who gave me the wrong idea? I didn't know and I fall deeper into it. Soon I realised thing wasn't as simple as I thought, it got complicated and I was confused.
Was it the wrong of the other party for not knowing the boundary or me who intepreted contrary? What I didn't realise was that it got more people involved and I knew I should pull myself out of it. God showed Himself strong in times of my weakness.

The idea of this entry isn't bout telling the story of my life. Instead, I just wish to share my thought. I believe all of u, at certain point of your lives, made mistake u thought was stupid due to your immaturity. We learn to know better what we want and what God wants for us as we mature through the circumstances He puts us through in lives. Cindy, a friend of mine whose blog I've always loved to read, wrote this in one of her many wonderful entries and I really cant agree with her more - God has the best for me, and why should I be so stupid to settle for the second best? Indeed. We always know the fact that God has the best for us, but, more often than not, we do not have enough faith to trust Him whole-heartedly regarding this fact.

Learn to put your trust in Him and u will realise He never fail to make u praise Him by pouring upon u incredible unforeseen blessings. Even more than your limited could ever imagine!

God wants to draw me closer to Him

2007-08-05T15:27:00.001+08:00

I believe this is the time God wants to draw me closer to Him and seek His strength.
God has been so good. We know it, don't we?
Indeed He has been faithful.
Lets make it an effort to share God's goodness and His faithfulness with all our hearts, everyday of our lives to the people around us especially our loved ones... Before it runs out of time..

A blessed day!

2007-08-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

Just came back from cg. My cg name is NYC A1 (NYC=Nanyang Campus).
This morning went for badminton game with my cg members. It felt so nice to sweat! =D
Then went to Qi Ming's place for a nap. His couch in the prayer room was COMFORTABLE! =D
At bout 6pm met up with the rest of the cg members then we had dinner at MOS. Burger there was superb! Going to try the famous rice burger next time! =)
Cg was great! It was more or less like the ones we had in Kuching. However, slight difference was that we're going to have Holy Communion during cg and they do not have testimony sharing, but it was totally fine with me. I can see that the group needs a GUITARIST! Johnson, I repented for not persevering in learning to play guitar from u.. I MUST TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE THIS TIME! Can I? I CAN?! AMEN! I WANA DO IT!
Felt presence of God during the p&w. Then our CGL, Serene-a cute and child-like girl, asked us to list down the areas to repent to God, areas we've seen ourselves grew over the past semester and set goals for the incoming semester which is also my FIRST semester in NTU! haha..
I find myself need to build up in having a servanthood heart to touch lives and love them with the love of God. I must stop self-pleasing and start God-pleasing! There are lots more areas that I need God to help me to improve and change.
In a nutshell, my cg ppl are wonderful bunch of ppl. Even though they are not as animated and as sanguine as me.. and the rest of the cg members I used to have in Kuching ---> MADGEN, I hope that my spirit can contribute a little in building up the atmosphere and relate to each of them. I look forward to more revelation from God regarding my future! =D

Little thought of the day: As I was on the way back to sch in the MRT, I reflected back what I told Serene that I'm not someone who can really persevere in doing something until the completion of it and I wana improve on that. Really ah.. I REALLY NEED TO PERSEVERE especially in keeping the fire to chiong for God!!!!

When personal desire overwhelms me..

2007-08-01T22:13:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh...
I'm in such a DILEMMA right now...
I saw a Nike bag that day when I was shopping with Chris and it costs 62sg!
It doesn't sound expensive right? 62sg. But it is actually RM140!
I need a school bag and I will need to get one anyway.
Do I really need such expensive bag???

I AM BACK!

2007-07-30T22:23:00.000+08:00

YOYOYO!
Brenda is back!
So glad that I am able to blog again after ages! (one week LOL!)
Those who met me online tonight. Lucky u! lol! I'm sure u guys have tonnes of ques to ask. In fact, I'm the one havin lotsa thing to tell! haha.. It's time consuming to have tell everything to every single friend of mine one by one.. nah nah nah.. that's why loh, read my blog for updates! =)

TO: Those who ask "How are u??"
I'm VERY fine here. Feel so glad to have experienced so much in this foreign country. Thank God for bringing me out of the well(Kuching) to explore a little more of the world!

TO: Those who ask "How's Singapore??"
Hmmm.. where should I start? The very first impression I have towards this country is that THE ROADS ARE FLOODED WITH PEOPLE! My gosh. Never in my life have I seen a place so crowded with so many pedestrian! Well, told u I've been living under the well! =P Recently on great sales, stuff here are at reasonable price. Some stuff more or less cost the same as Msia, some a lot cheaper! GOT SO EXCITED OVER SHOPPING! lol!

TO: Those who ask "How's sch/hostel/living??"
COOL! Better than expected! CLEAN toilet with toilet papers, CLEAN bathroom with WATER HEATER! YESH! Water heater! cool??!! lol! Went to NUS hostel today with Chris (NAH chris, mention your name here lah.. Give u face ah =P) Gosh, I thank God for a better and more spacious washroom and bathroom in NTU! lol! Stuff and furniture are new. THANK GOD!

TO: Those who ask "How's HOPE SINGAPORE service??"
It was cool! really cool! The whole auditorium was crowded with all the YOUNG PEOPLE! I expected many to rush to the front to jump and shout for joy during the p&w. But I only see one or two expressing the excitement. Even thought I've been realising the fact that I can worship God anywhere, anytime, God reminded me the truth again that night during the service. I could feel how God was so close to me when I prayed to Him! GOD IS GOOD! I cried for the very first time ever since the day I came to Singapore during the service. It wasn't due to home sickness, neither was it any kind of expression of depression or self pity; it was the tear of joy and thankfulness. Reflecting how God has led me all the way to Singapore and provided my every need and hear me when I thought there was no one to call on to. God has been with me. He always do. Therefore friends, I am not homesick. Not because this place is too fun that I forget to miss my family and friends in hometown, but I know God is preparing me for greater work and He has been by my side.. and with that I am satisfied.

TO: Those who ask "Got leng cai??"
YA. All across the country, my friends. The streets, shopping malls, escalators, lifts and even the toilets are flooded with eng tao kia ah I tell u.. But.. not interested lah.. Singapore guys-do not judge a book by its cover! =P

Really cant think of any other ques u guys have in mind. Anything just leave a comment and I'll answer! =)

Last but not least, I really wana show my gratitute towards HOPE SINGAPORE bro and sis. I am very well taken care of here. A servanthood heart is what I learn from the UL(unit leader) of the NYC(Nanyang Campus). I will learn it and love others with the love of God and serve others just like Jesus, who came to serve and not to be served.

Praise GOD!!! =D

HIT THE MARK!

2007-07-15T17:44:00.001+08:00

Today is indeed a memorial day! A day to celebrate! A celebration held for the goodness and faithfulness of GOD!

HOPE OF GOD KUCHING is now 15 years old! Praise The Lord!!! Even though I've just joined HOPE Kuching for a year plus, but I've always been proud to be one of the BIG FAMILY!

Thank God I am part of THE FAMILY!!!

The theme of the celebration of this 15th Anniversary of HOPE OF GOD Kuching is "HIT THE MARK!"

Yesh, people.. HIT THE MARK!!!

MAD GEN was delegated to take up the responsibility to wrap up the whole ceremony with a performance. Our head, a VERY talented sister, Miss Christine, came out with a brilliant idea of impacting the audiences of the day with the YOUTHFULNESS of the youngsters with the High School Musical dance - We're all in this together.

It's one of the cherishable times for the secondary and college ppl to unite together for a task. We have a task to be fulfilled for the church! How honored! =)

We practised hard for the dance throughout the past 4 weeks. Had great time acting like monkeys, learn things far beyond what we're going to perform, fellowship-ing with everyone else after the practise and all sorts. Within this group of incredible young people, everyone has different level of capability in dancing, but we all have one thing in common - we all have the desire to do our best to dance for God! =)

Here are some photos of today events.

>>> Opening cultural dance by the Iban and BM congregation

>>> Followed by the flag dance by the Indonesian, Chinese congregation as well as IF group. COOLLL!! =)

>>> The Iban brother trying to HIT THE MARK ---> burst the balloon.

>>> Now this is the chief, Pastor Simon's turn to HIT THE MARK as an ceremonial act to start the whole celebration.

>>> Exciting time of PRAISE AND WORSHIP led by Bro Joshua! =D

>>> Preaching time by Pastor Simon entitled "MOVING FORWARD"!

>>> Dancers of the opening ceremony dance. SAY CHEESE! =D

>>> MAD GEN with Christine! Dancers of the closing ceremony dance. SAY YO!~~ =D

>>> Souvenir to bring back.. Creatively made souvenir in green! COOL! =)

p/s: Will upload the vid of our performance when I have learned how to. CHEERS! =D

*** I want to let others see more of JESUS in me! ***

My beloved friends

2007-07-13T12:43:00.000+08:00

I miss u guys...

Miss those days having bunch of closely-bonded friends who always stick together wherever we went and whatever we did.

Miss the sense of belonging and the united hearts that joined as one that we never missed out anyone among us when we planned for anything.

The gathering of the 7 of us on the 7th July 2007 (7/7/07) was incredible. Indeed. But the feeling wasn't like before. Sad to say, it was not like before.

U guys are always in my heart. And always will be. Always. Friends who had accompanied me to go through life ups and downs.

Do take care..

I will never forget anyone of u...

2007-07-11T11:06:00.000+08:00

Hey hey,
Back blogging!!!

My thoughts:
@... Mummy's away for business trip for 4 days. Start to miss her already..

@@... 2 more weeks to leave Kuching! Haven't started to pack!! lol! I need contacts from HOPE Singapore ppl!

@@@... Have to persevere in studying the bible and know more about The Mighty God that I'm serving!! =D

@@@@... HOPE Kuching 15th Anniversary is coming soon! Brenda is involved in the closing ceremony performance! Do come and support!
Date: 15th July 2007
Time: 9.30am
Venue: SUPP Hall
Attire: Smart and neat outfit
For more info, please contact me! =)

@@@@@... Lodge Internation School ICF "Boot Camp" is coming soon!! Must prepare my heart well and pray for all the those who have already enrolled as well as those who want to go and are going to sign up! God is going to work through this camp! Looking forward to it! =D

@@@@@@... Jos is coming back on the 20th! I MISS YA, SWEETY PIE! Cant wait to meet u up and behave like MONKEY with u again! lol!

@@@@@@@@... Should I get a MACBOOK?? Advice from pro is much appreciated! =D

***Have a blessed day, friends!***

Feel free to drop comments!! =D

2007-07-06T10:28:00.000+08:00

Hey hey.......!!!!

I was too free that I looked through my photo albums. Memories overwhelmed me. Those were the days.. cherishable moments..

Anyways anyways, got u guys some pics worth laughing at.. lol..

Funny pic:

1.

Event: Combined CG with theme - Mismatch!
Elaboration: Writing with leg?? Kia Ing was definitely trying hard. lol!

2.

Event: Santubong trip with Eric to take pics for MNC advertisement.
Elaboration: Eric: "Ain't I a graceful ballerina??"
Brenda: "I.N.D.E.E.D, Eric..."

3.

Event: A day free in INTI College Sarawak.
Elaboration: ........ Ran out of medicine that day.. our bad.. lol!

4.

Event: Chinese New Year Celebration with family
Elaboration: "YeahhHH men, show us what u've got!!!" lol!

5.

Event: MAD GEN Chinese New Year visitation at my place
Elaboration: ......

6.

Event: Christmas Eve Celebration at Fook ke's place
Elaboration: Brenda: "There's another camera there.. why is everyone facing only that camera???"

That's all from me.

Cheers! =)

Bringing home the prodigals

2007-07-04T10:23:00.001+08:00

Had incredible time spent listening to the bestseller Rob Parsons sharing with us about the title "Bringing home the prodigals".

Those who missed the talk, you've missed more than just an inspiring speech.

Let me share with u what I've learned from the terrific speaker of the night, Rob Parsons. I missed the first point that the speakers talked about.. (aiks.. paiseh ah.. lol.) Anyways, I caught up with the second one as soon as he started.

1. Prodigals are carrying comparably weight of GUILT on their shoulders.
Prodigals think they can no longer come back to The Father due to what they had done, due to the heart which used to betray The Most High God. They struggle in their hearts and do not have the face to come back to church and face the judgment of the elders in church even before they face judgment of The Father.

Luke 15:18-19
The Parable of the Lost Son
"... Father I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worth to be called your son..."

Friends, lay down your guilt. Our Heavenly Father is waiting for you to come home. Passionly waiting...

Luke 15:20
"... but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son..."

The Father is stretching His neck, longing to see the son come home. And when you do, He will not list down all the hurtful deeds you had done to Him, neither would The Loving Father treat you the way you had treated Him. Instead, He will welcome you home with a great feast.. Yes, go ahead to read this phrase again.. A GREAT FEAST! A great celebration to welcome His lost son back home!

Luke 15:20
"...his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."

The son bore too much guilt with him that he thought he was unworthy of all this..
Luke 15:21
"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you, I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "

But the father thought there was no time for apologies..
Luke 15:22-23
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'... "

2. Forgive and love
Need not to go into details the wrong deeds that was made, be it intentionally or unintentionally, and learn to forgive and love the brothers and sisters that have come home eventually.

Rob Parsons - "When The Father's house is filled with The Father's LOVE, the prodigals will definitely come home."

3. When the prodigals come home, pray that they need The Father more than the elders/leaders in church.
When they finally come back to the church, The Father is whom they should commit themselves to, The Father is whom they need the most.

4. Pray
Pastor Denis - "Prayer makes the impossible possible!"

Pastor Simon - "Prayer changes events!"

Pray Until Something Happen, brothers and sisters!
Commit the lost souls to God and ask God to continue to touch their hearts and lives.

Rob Parsons - "God loves the prodigals even more than you do."

We were asked to write down names of the lost souls in our hearts on the cards given at the entrance when we enter the hall. I had 6 names written down. They are my dear friends and close ones. Then we were asked to put the cards in the baskets which were placed under the foot of a cross which symbolised the act of surrendering those people to God. Then as we walked out of the hall, we each had to take a card and go back and pray over the names written on it by other people. I had one which had 12 names written down, 2 of them are marked with stars. I guess they are those whom the card owner wished to see their return. Yes, I will pray over the names.

There is another thing I became aware of when Pastor Matthew mentioned about last night. Prodigals do not entirely mean Christians who once went to church and trusted in The Lord and now have gone astray, but also those who are in the house of God and yet, hearts travel far than it appear to be. That category of people also need our fervent prayers.

There are 2 messages I would like to bring out in this post.
First...
To the people who have long to come back to God but never have the courage to. The word of God has clearly told us that our Father longs for nothing more than your coming back home. It is not by our might or performance that determines the amount of love that The Father would give, but by the grace of God that He loves us and accepts us as who we are. Come back to God even today. Breathe a prayer to The Loving Father and commit yourself back to Him again.. and you will find there's no where that will make you more secure and loved than in the arms of The Father.

Second...
To the people who have names of the lost souls in your hearts and feel the burden to pray for them. Keep P.U.S.H. -ing.. Nothing is impossible for God. When we have faith as small as a mustard seed, God says, we can say to the mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will be moved, nothing will be impossible for you! (Matt 17:20)
Therefore, always pray for a loving heart like The Father, commit the prodigals to The Lord and trust that God has already granted our prayers by faith.